Wednesday, June 01, 2011

"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - - 6/4/11

*More "athletic matches" that have appeared in this column over the years.....

Can you imagine if LPGA golfer Ji Young Oh married former major league pitcher Joey Jay, divorced, then married Champions Tour golfer Tim Simpson? Perhaps she could someday help a former running back search for the REAL killer of his former spouse and an acquaintance while bearing the full, married name of Ji Young Oh Jay Simpson..........Wouldn't it be great if LPGA golfer Morgan Pressel married former University of Cincinnati soccer player Mike Hessel, divorced, married former Hannibal High (NY) tennis player Reece Bessel--divorced again--then married Ohio St. football coach Jim Tressel? She'd be roaming fairways with the catchy, full married name of Morgan Pressel Hessel Bessel Tressel..........If LPGA golfer Karen Stupples had once married L.A. Angels pitcher Danny Haren, divorced, married Rhode Island basketball coach Jim Baron--divorced again--then married former big league player Dick Sharon, she'd be teeing off with the full, married name of Karen Haren Baron Sharon..........Picture this: LPGA golfer Trish Johnson marries tennis player Mardy Fish, divorces, marries former Western Kentucky basketball player "Rip" Gish--divorces again--then marries NY Giants chairman/exec. VP Steve Tisch. She'd be roaming the links with the full, married name of Trish Fish Gish Tisch..........Can you imagine if LPGA golfer Leanna Wicks married former Texas Rangers owner Tom Hicks, divorced, married former Michigan running back Lawrence Ricks--divorced again--then married former NBA player Steve Mix? She'd be roaming the golf course with the catchy, full married name of Leanna Wicks Hicks Ricks Mix..........If LPGA golfer Meena Lee ever married former NFL lineman John Fina, I'd have WAY too much fun pronouncing her married name of Meena Fina. Also, if golfer Paige Mackenzie ever walked down the aisle with S.D. Chargers head coach Norv Turner, fans of interesting/hard-to-put-down books would surely delight in her full, married name of Paige Turner..........Just imagine if Japanese golfer Yuri Fudoh married the NBA's Eddy Curry, divorced, married baseball Hall of Famer Eddie Murray--divorced again--then married winger Chris Drury of the N.Y. Rangers. She'd be roaming golf courses internationally with the catchy, full married name of Yuri Curry Murray Drury..........Regarding the lovely Natalie Gulbis: If she married fellow pro golfer Aaron Baddeley, divorced, married former Colgate swimmer James Hadley--divorced again--then married ex-Canisius College hoopster Chris Gadley, she'd be sporting the full married name of Natalie Baddeley Hadley Gadley..........Scenario: Ex-UCONN women's basketball player Tina Charles marries NBA guard Jameer Nelson, divorces, then decides she likes older men; she proceeds to marry former NBA coach Pat Riley. Fans of the old "Match Game" show would surely delight in her full married name of Tina Charles Nelson Riley..........I'd like to see former Georgia Tech softball player Daisy Paez hook up with big-league outfielder Elijah Dukes. If they ever walked down the aisle, admirers of form-fitting, denim cut-off shorts throughout the land would surely delight in her married name of Daisy Dukes..........If actress Brooke Shields marries former NFL player John Zook, divorces, marries former pitcher Jay Hook--divorces again--then marries former pitcher Dennis Cook, yours truly would have WAY too much fun pronouncing her full married name of Brooke Zook Hook Cook..........If LPGA golfer Hee Young Park ever married Hall of Fame catcher Johnny Bench, would she mind being known by the name of Hee Young Park Bench?..........Can you imagine if LPGA golfer Young Kim married political commentator Al Franken, divorced, then married former MLB infielder Bill Stein? Fans of old Mel Brooks movies would surely delight in her full married name of Young Franken Stein..........I'd love to see LPGA golfer Ji Young Oh hook up with N.Y. Jets GM Mike Tannenbaum. If they ever tied the knot, Christmas carol lovers everywhere would surely enjoy seeing her strolling around various golf courses with the married name of Ji Young Oh Tannenbaum..........Finally, can you imagine if motivational speaker Cheryl Cran married former NBA player Walter Berry, divorced him, then married baseball Hall of Famer Wade Boggs? Certain juice manufacturers--especially the people at Ocean Spray--would surely be happy as she'd be walking around with the full married name of Cheryl Cran Berry Boggs.

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