"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - - 11-14-09

ITEM: Former NBA center/Yale grad Chris Dudley is running for governor of Oregon--as a Republican. Sheesh, if this guy should ever win and run that state like he once shot free throws, look for the following to happen: state taxes to rise at an astronomical rate, Oregon's unemployment rate to approach 50%, and HUGE chunks of the state to start eroding into the Pacific Ocean..........TRIVIA QUESTION: The 1991-'92 Golden State Warriors--who scored an impressive 118.7 points per contest--had three players on the squad who averaged more than 18 points per game apiece. Can you name these three gentlemen? Answer to follow.........This week in sports history, November 17, 1991: During his team's 21-10 victory over the Los Angeles Rams, Lions offensive lineman Mike Utley suffers a paralyzing injury during a pass-blocking assignment. David Rocker of the Rams, who leaped in an effort to block Detroit QB Erik Kramer's pass, landed on Utley--who fell forward while fracturing his sixth cervical vertebrae. The 6-foot-6, 290-pound Utley would undergo 2 1/2 hours of surgery to decompress fragments and tissue that were pressing against his spinal cord; doctors later claimed that the operation went as smoothly as could be expected, but still could not predict if the paralysis would be permanent..........Can you imagine if famed socialite (I'll stop short of saying "actress") Paris Hilton married Wake Forest track star Phillip Warsaw, divorced, married former Miami quarterback Brock Berlin--divorced again--then married sports talk show host Jim Rome? Fans of European geography would surely enjoy her full married name of Paris Warsaw Berlin Rome..........Lazzari's "Lopsided Score of the Week": In a game played in New Hampshire last Saturday, Southern Connecticut annihilated St. Anselm 71-14; SCSU scored 50 seconds into this "laugher" and held a 43-7 lead AT THE HALF. In theological history, St. Anselm is said to have been treated harshly by his father, but I'd be willing to bet that even Anselm himself would have had trouble fathoming the type of mistreatment that Southern CT handed out during THIS debacle..........New York Giants linebacker Michael Boley recently told the New York Post that his choice of preferred dinner guests would include both Bill Gates and Tiger Woods. My first reaction? Regardless of WHERE they chose to dine, there would be absolutely NO problem WHATSOEVER covering the tab..........So I hear that my alma mater, Fordham, has begun advertising its basketball program on WFAN Radio. Geez, having won just THREE games last season while going 1-15 in the Atlantic 10, I was beginning to think that the term "Fordham Basketball" was an oxymoron..........Speaking of the Fordham Rams: If that team makes the NCAA basketball tournament this season, then yours truly goes out on dates with Charlize Theron and Cameron Diaz on consecutive evenings sometime during 2010..........Answer to trivia question: CHRIS MULLIN (25.6 ppg), TIM HARDAWAY (23.4), and SARUNAS MARCIULIONIS (18.9)..........How 'bout that college football game in the Midwest last weekend--Crown (MN) defeating Eureka 69-63? The game featured over 1,400 yards of total offense and lasted nearly four hours. I'm just wondering--with the score tied at 42-42 late in the third quarter--if the eventual losing squad actually YELLED "Eureka!" when they finally forced Crown to punt for the first time..........Happy birthday wishes go out to former major league player Eli Marrero--who blows out 36 candles on November 17th. A native of Cuba, Marrero spent ten seasons in the "bigs" between 1997 and 2006--playing for six different teams. A versatile player who caught, played first base, and also played the outfield, Marrero was a lifetime .243 hitter; in 250 at-bats, he hit .320 for the Braves in 2004. However, Marrero had absolutely NO success as a postseason player; appearing in five playoff series as a member of the Cardinals and Braves, Marrero hit just .105--gathering only four hits in 38 at-bats. Hey--they all can't be Hideki Matsui, right? Best wishes, Eli..........Finally, condolences go out to the family of former Iowa football coach Forest Evashevski--who died recently in Michigan at the age of 91. A former star himself at Michigan, Evashevski was hired at Iowa in 1952 and led the Hawkeyes to a pair of Rose Bowl victories as well as three Big 10 championships; he coached the team until 1960. Evashevski was inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame in 2000; he leaves his wife, Ruth, five sons, and two daughters. Rest in peace, "Coach."

"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - - 11-7-09

The "Unwatchable NBA" Update (yes--sadly, this feature returns, folks): In a game played in Boston last week, the Celtics annihilated the Bobcats 92-59; Charlotte was 0-for-10 from 3-point range, had just 10 assists AS A TEAM, and shot a pitiful 52% from the free-throw line on 13-for-25 shooting. Geez, and I used to think that hippopotamuses, slugs, and Chihuahuas were ugly..........TRIVIA QUESTION: Who was the last NBA player to lead the league in personal fouls in consecutive years? Answer to follow..........I'd love to see a bumper sticker in New York City that reads the following: DECISIONS, DECISIONS--MORTGAGE PAYMENT OR YANKEE GAME?..........Congratulations go out to Bill Brickett--long-time softball stand-out from Shelton, CT--who recently bowled the second perfect game of his career while competing in the Business/Industrial Bowling League at Colony Lanes in Wallingford. In addition to the 300 game, Brickett (son-in-law of New Haven-area sports announcer Bob Barth) added games of 246 and 214 for a three-game total of 760--raising his overall game average from 225 to 229. Great job, Bill..........This week in sports history, November 10, 1963: Gordie Howe of the Detroit Red Wings becomes the NHL's all-time leading goal-scorer--tallying #545 during his team's 3-0 victory vs. Montreal. Howe broke the record--previously held by Maurice "Rocket" Richard--at 15:06 of the second period. During the same game, Red Wings goalie Terry Sawchuk made some headlines, too--posting his 94th career shutout; his 39-save effort matched the NHL's all-time record for shutouts held by former Montreal goalie George Hainsworth..........For any "do-gooders" out there who may have been disturbed that WNBA star Diana Taurasi had to spend just a day in jail after her DUI bust: Taurasi's blood-alcohol level was 0.17--twice the legal limit in Arizona. Sorry, folks, but when one is THAT intoxicated--and behind a wheel--the vehicle becomes a lethal weapon. The truly disturbing/scary part is THIS: her actions are really no different than carelessly discharging a deadly firearm near a crowd of people--and LUCKILY not hitting anyone..........Can you imagine if USC standout rower Robin Hextrum married former NBA player Rory Sparrow, divorced, married NFL linebacker A.J. Hawk--divorced again--then married sportscaster Ian Eagle? Members of the National Audubon Society would surely take pride in her full married name of Robin Sparrow Hawk Eagle..........Sorry, but whenever I hear the words "baseball" and "integrity" in the same sentence, the term "oxymoronic" always comes to mind..........The other day, I came across a lovely picture of model/actress Elizabeth Hurley wearing a stunning, flowered dress at a luncheon for the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Geez, and I used to think that Wade Boggs' SWING was a thing of beauty..........Answer to trivia question: KURT THOMAS of the New York Knicks--who led the league in personal fouls in 2001-'02 (341) and again in '02-'03 (344)..........How 'bout quarterback John Skelton of my alma mater Fordham--who threw 67 passes and also RUSHED 15 times last Saturday during a 41-27 loss to Holy Cross? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that the guy had NO need for melatonin, chamomile tea, or any other sleep aid that evening in order to get some badly-needed shuteye..........Happy birthday wishes go out to former major league outfielder Dion James--who blows out 47 candles on November 9th. A native of Philadelphia, James spent 11 seasons in the "bigs" between 1983 and 1996--hitting a respectable .288 lifetime. James spent time with the Brewers, Braves, Indians, and Yankees during his playing days; perhaps his best year came with Atlanta in 1987 when he drove in 61 runs and finished fifth in the National League with a batting average of .312. Best wishes, Dion..........Finally, condolences go out to the family of former NFL assistant coach Darvin Wallis--who died recently in Colorado at the age of 60. Wallis spent time as a college assistant at Mississippi, Tulane and Adams State before beginning his NFL career with the Cleveland Browns under head coach Sam Rutigliano in 1982. He went on to spend 19 years with the Kansas City Chiefs as a defensive assistant/quality control coach before retiring in January 2008. Wallis is survived by his wife, Vicky, and three sons: Tyson, Darvin Jr., and Austin. May Darvin Wallis rest in peace.