"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - - 5-17-08

ITEM: Red Sox pitchers Tim Wakefield and Mike Timlin make history by becoming the first over-40 duo in the modern era to combine on a shutout--beating the Tigers 5-0. Yes, I'd imagine that there HAS to be a celebratory, Geritol commercial endorsement (to be filmed at a Boston area-nursing home) in store for BOTH of these guys in the very near future..........TRIVIA QUESTION: Only six major leaguers have hit for the cycle while having a grand slam home run among the four necessary hits. Who was the last major league player to accomplish this feat? Answer to follow..........I heard Cincinnati Reds manager Dusty Baker tell WFAN's Ed Randall last Sunday that two of his former players--Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa--were "business-like" in their approach to the game. Translation: They were surly, selfish players who liked to be left alone..........If actress Brooke Shields marries former NFL player John Zook, divorces, marries former pitcher Jay Hook--divorces again--then marries former pitcher Dennis Cook, yours truly would then have WAY too much fun pronouncing her full married name of Brooke Zook Hook Cook..........This week in sports history, May 20, 1990: 16-year-old Monica Seles of Yugoslavia defeats Germany's Steffi Graff 6-4, 6-3 in the final of the German Open--ending Graf's amazing 66-match win streak. Numerous unforced errors plagued Graf as she was attempting to break Martina Navratilova's all-time best mark of 74 consecutive victories; Graf's last defeat had come in June of '89 to Arantxa Sanchez Vicario in the final at the French Open..........For those of you investors out there who get upset when your portfolio takes a slight "dip," think of the Yankees having invested $86 million in pitchers Carl Pavano and Kei Igawa; I GUARANTEE you'll feel a tad better..........ITEM: The N.Y. Knicks hire Mike D'Antoni as their new head coach. Yes, I do believe he's an improvement over Isiah Thomas, folks. But why do I get the feeling that the Knicks--who scored an average of 97 points per game this season and allowed more than 103--may average around 101 next year but give up 107?..........Lazzari's "Lopsided Score of the Week": In a girl's high school softball game played here in CT recently, Manchester annihilated Bulkeley 29-0 in a game shortened to five innings; the winning squad led 17-0 after just two frames and scored SEVEN in the fifth to put an exclamation point on this terrible mismatch. The clincher? The losing Bulkeley squad was the HOME team. I'd suggest the people at Bulkeley employ a sense of humor next time Manchester visits and place a sign at the field entrance that reads, "VISITORS WELCOMED--BUT LEAVE YOUR BATS ON THE BUS!"..........In an EXTREMELY perfect world, sultry actress Carmen Electra prefers aging, arthritic, New England-based sports columnists who have dimples..........Answer to trivia question: JAY BUHNER of the Seattle Mariners, who hit for the cycle--including a grand slam--in June of 1993 during a Seattle victory vs. the Oakland A's..........Happy birthday wishes go out to former major league pitcher Jose Roman--who blows out 45 candles on May 21st. Roman played three seasons for the Cleveland Indians between 1984 and 1986; let's just say they were three "forgettable" seasons, too. Jose appeared in a total of just 14 major league games during his short big league tenure--pitching 44 innings, walking 42 batters, and giving up 40 earned runs. Yes, folks, Jose Roman goes into the record books with an all-time record of 1-8 with a career ERA of 8.12. Hey, they all can't be Bob Feller, right? Best wishes, Jose..........Finally, condolences go out to the family of former major league outfielder Roy Foster--who died recently in Oklahoma at the age of 62. Foster was chosen as the Sporting News American League Rookie of the Year when he hit 23 homers and drove in 60 runs for the Cleveland Indians in 1970--a year in which he homered off the Orioles' Dave McNally in his very first major league game. Sadly (and almost inexplicably), Foster was done with baseball in 1972 after just three years with Cleveland; some have hinted that Foster's lack of all-around talent may have played a part in hastening his mysterious exit from the game. Reportedly, he had been in a nursing home due to a previous stroke at the time of his death. May Roy Foster rest in peace.