"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - - 09-15-07

How 'bout Navy quarterback Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Enhada? This may be the only QB in football right now--college OR pro--who can call out a set of signals at the line of scrimmage faster than it takes him to pronounce his own NAME..........TRIVIA QUESTION: In NFL history, what player has accumulated the most yards in a single season returning punts? Answer to follow..........Lazzari's "Cheap Win of the Week": Definitely goes to "Dice-K" Matsuzaka of the Red Sox. He pitches 5 1/3 innings last week vs. Toronto--giving up ten hits and SEVEN earned runs while throwing a robust total of 98 pitches. However, he benefits from the Sox' potent offense that evening and picks up the "W" during a 13-10 Boston victory..........I must admit: If LPGA golfer Meena Lee ever married former NFL lineman John Fina, I'd have WAY too much fun pronouncing her married name of Meena Fina. Also, if golfer Paige Mackenzie ever walked down the aisle with S.D. Chargers head coach Norv Turner, fans of interesting/hard-to-put-down books would surely delight in her full, married name of Paige Turner..........This week in sports history, September 17, 1985: Reggie Jackson of the California Angels hits the 500th home run of his illustrious career--connecting off Royals pitcher Bud Black during the seventh inning of a 10-1 Kansas City victory. The 38-year-old Jackson, nicknamed "Mr. October," performed his heroic feat in front of approximately 29,000 fans at Anaheim Stadium; however, the loss dropped the Angels to 1 1/2 games behind Kansas City in the AL West..........I'm sending out an open invitation to model Christie Brinkley to play tennis sometime. Then again, if she ever saw my bank account, she'd probably say, "Game, set, match--you're history, Bob!"..........If anyone out there knows that Junior Witter is the reigning WBC light-welterweight champion, then that individual has WAY too much time on his/her hands..........I'm STILL not convinced that the Appalachian St. football team beat Michigan--and I fully expect to wake up from a deep sleep shortly after finishing this sentence..........Answer to trivia question: DESMOND HOWARD--who returned 58 punts for a record 875 yards in 1996 as a member of the Green Bay Packers..........Lazzari's "Lopsided Score(s) of the Week": I'm NOT kidding, folks--Western Kentucky beat WVU Tech in a college football game last weekend 87-0 (that's NOT a misprint). In addition, The Citadel beat Webber Int'l 76-0--having led 45-0 at the HALF. In that game, Mike Adams of The Citadel converted TEN extra points and kicked two field goals. Geez, I haven't seen that much kicking done since the girls in my third grade class would exact revenge on me at recess after yours truly had made fun of them...........Did you know that, in 1991, infielder Todd Zeile of the St. Louis Cardinals led his team in home runs with a grand total of just ELEVEN? The Cards hit only 68 home runs as a team that year--a number that would be eclipsed by Barry Bonds HIMSELF ten years later in 2001.......... Happy birthday wishes go out to former major leaguer Mickey Tettleton--who blows out 47 candles on September 16th. A native of Oklahoma City, Tettleton played 14 seasons in the "bigs" between 1984 and 1997 for the A's, Orioles, Tigers and Rangers--hitting 245 lifetime home runs. A fan favorite wherever he played, Tettleton was a two-time All-Star ('89 and '94) and led the AL in walks (122) in 1992 as a member of the Tigers. Nicknamed "Fruit Loops" for his love of the breakfast cereal, Mickey's best year came in 1993 while with Detroit--a year in which he slugged 32 homers and drove in 110 runs. Best wishes, Mickey..........Finally, condolences go out to the family of former NHL player/executive Max McNab--who died recently of a massive stroke in Las Vegas at the age of 83. A back injury cut short McNab's playing career, but he did play center for the 1950 Stanley Cup champion Red Wings--playing on the same line with future Hall of Famers Gordie Howe and Ted Lindsay. He later served as GM of the Washington Capitals and New Jersey Devils before retiring as an executive in 1994. He is survived by his wife, June, and three sons; rest in peace, Max.