"Lazzari's Sports Roundup"- - - - 09-08-07

N.Y. Jets GM Mike Tannenbaum recently told the New York Post that his choice of three dinner guests would be Abraham Lincoln, Warren Buffett, and Vince Vaughn. I'd assume that Buffett picks up the check, Lincoln says grace, and Vaughn acts like he's having a good time..........TRIVIA QUESTION: Name the five men named "Mike" who currently are head coaches in the NFL; answer to follow.........."Lazzari's "Lopsided Score of the Week": Defending Division III college football champion Mount Union defeated Averett last weekend 75-7--with the victors scoring a record 52 points in the FIRST QUARTER. I mean, what could the losing coach POSSIBLY say to his squad at the end of that quarter without TOTALLY lying? Example: "O.K., guys, if we start playing good defense right now and hold them to, say, 66 points at halftime, we still have a chance!"..........Can you imagine if LPGA golfer Leanna Wicks married Texas Rangers owner Tom Hicks, divorced, married former Michigan running back Lawrence Ricks--divorced again--then married former NBA player Steve Mix? She'd be roaming the golf course with the catchy, full married name of Leanna Wicks Hicks Ricks Mix..........This week in sports history, September 10, 1988: German tennis star Steffi Graf becomes the third female ever to complete a grand slam as she defeats Gabriela Sabatini 6-3, 3-6, 6-1 at the U.S.Open final in New York. The 19-year-old Graf's forehand proved to be too much for fellow teenager Sabatini in the final set--enabling Steffi to join Maureen Connolly and Margaret Court as the only women to win the Australian Open, French Open, Wimbledon, and the U.S. Open in the same year..........Note to lovely, newly-divorced actress Jennifer Esposito: Aging, broke, arthritic sports columnists may not know their way around Hollywood, but they DO know a lot about the Angels and Dodgers; they're also very loyal and entertaining to the people they are dating ..........I guess you can classify a major league pitcher as a "hard-thrower" by examining the velocity of his off-speed pitches. Last week, I witnessed Red Sox pitcher Josh Beckett throwing a 90 mile-per-hour CHANGE-UP to Johnny Damon of the Yankees. Ummm, I'll go out on a limb and say that Josh Beckett throws hard..........Newly-acquired Celtics forward James Posey has pleaded no contest to a lesser count of reckless driving (after a drunken driving stop by police in Miami) but still wants to appeal the case--saying it was a "bad arrest." Geez, James, what would you consider a "good" arrest--one that was never made in the first place?..........Answer to trivia question: MIKE HOLMGREN (Seattle), MIKE McCARTHY (Green Bay), MIKE NOLAN (San Francisco), MIKE SHANAHAN (Denver), and MIKE TOMLIN (Pittsburgh)..........Lazzari's "Cheap Win of the Week": This one goes to Cincinnati Reds reliever Jared Burton. He pitches 1 1/3 innings vs. Pittsburgh last week and allows a game-tying home run to Pirates third baseman Jose Bautista. However, he gets the "W" nonetheless as the Reds rally for a run in the 9th during a 5-4 victory..........Did you know that no member of the Seattle Mariners hit for the cycle until 1993--the team's 17th year of existence? Outfielder Jay Buhner ended the drought--getting the four hits needed on June 23rd of that year vs. the Oakland A's..........Happy birthday wishes go out to former big league first baseman Alvin Davis--who blows out 47 candles on September 9th. A native of Riverside, CA, Davis played nine seasons between 1984 and 1992 for the Mariners and Angels--hitting .280 lifetime. Nicknamed "Mr. Mariner," Davis drove in 100 or more runs in a season twice while with Seattle--in 1984 and 1987; in '84, he also won the AL Rookie of the Year award and was named to the league's All-Star squad. Best wishes, Alvin...........Finally, condolences go out to the family of former golf champion Gay Brewer--who died recently of lung cancer in Lexington, KY at the age of 75. Brewer won the coveted Masters in 1967--one year after having finished eight strokes behind Jack Nicklaus in an 18-hole playoff at the same tournament. Brewer also won ten other PGA Tour events during the 60's and 70's. He leaves his fiancee, Alma Jo McGuire, two daughters, and four grandchildren. May Mr. Brewer rest in peace.