"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - - 6-2-07

On a recent Red Sox telecast on NESN, the team was celebrating another "Junior Announcer Day"--where youngsters are allowed to appear on camera and announce the starting lineups. All I could think of while this was happening was the following: If any of these same kids aspire to be sportscasters in the future, how will they handle it 15 years from now when NESN and/or other networks shut the door in their faces in favor of hiring unqualified ex-jocks?.......... TRIVIA QUESTION: In team history, the Philadelphia Phillies have had three different pitchers capture the NL Cy Young Award. Name these three hurlers; answer to follow..........Scenario: The LPGA's Sally Little marries fellow pro golfer Rod Spittle, divorces, marries former big league OF/DH Ron Kittle--divorces again--then marries former pitcher Rocky Biddle. She'd then be gracing the fairways with the catchy, married name of Sally Little Spittle Kittle Biddle..........The "Unwatchable NBA" Update: The Cleveland Cavaliers score a grand total of just TWENTY-SIX points in the second half vs. Detroit in Game 2 of the Eastern Conference finals. No need whatsoever to expand on that; I'm just glad "Court TV" is always there in a pinch..........I'm totally convinced that the average baseball fan can eat a bag of peanuts in LESS time than it takes he/she to pronounce the full name of Braves catcher Jarrod Scott Saltalamacchia..........This week in sports history, June 3, 1975: International soccer star Pele shuns retirement and becomes the richest player in team sports history--signing a 3-year/$7 million contract with the New York Cosmos of the NASL. The 34-year-old had led Brazil to three World Cup titles between 1958 and 1970 and scored a remarkable 1,216 goals in 1,253 games before announcing his retirement in October of '74..........ITEM: Former WR Keyshawn Johnson signs a multi-year contract with ESPN--yet further evidence of the scourge that Howard Cosell termed the "jockacracy." Again, folks, if you're a selfish, under-educated loudmouth/ex-jock, a broadcasting gig is always just a phone call away..........How 'bout female Indy car driver Milka Duno--who currently possesses FOUR (that's right, F-O-U-R) Master's degrees. I'd be reluctant about dating a woman like Duno for fear that the dinner conversation would revolve around Shakespeare, biochemical engineering, and the effect of Neo-Kantianism on Austro-Marxist political thought in the early 1900's..........Answer to trivia question: STEVE CARLTON (1972, '77, '80, '82), JOHN DENNY (1983), and STEVE BEDROSIAN (1987)..........Lazzari's "Lopsided Score(s) of the Week": In a recent boys high school baseball game here in CT, Bristol Central annihilated Bulkeley 25-0 with the winning team accumulating a 22-0 lead after four innings of play. The week before, Bulkeley had lost to Maloney 26-3--having trailed 23-1 after just THREE innings. Not much to say at this point to Bulkeley players/fans except, "Summer vacation, anyone?"..........And how 'bout that 1-for-14 shooting performance by the WNBA Connecticut Sun's Asjha Jones during a 20-point loss to L.A. last weekend? I haven't seen that many errant shots since a buddy of mine guzzled about 6 or 7 gin and tonics and then tried to play a game of darts at the old Evergreen Restaurant in Derby..........Happy birthday wishes go out to former major league catcher Jim Gaudet--who blows out 52 candles on June 3rd. Can't remember this product of Tulane University? For good reason; Gaudet appeared in parts of just two big league seasons--'78 and '79 with the Royals--appearing in just SIX games over the course of his playing career. Here's the topper: Jim Gaudet came to bat 14 times during his short stay in the majors and accumulated ONE hit--thus retiring with a lifetime batting average of .071. Hey, they all can't be Joe Mauer, right? Best wishes, Jim..........Finally, condolences go out to the family of former Northwestern University football coach Alex Agase--who passed away recently in Tarpon Springs, FL at the age of 85. As a college lineman, Agase became the only player ever to be voted as an All-American at two different schools--Illinois and Purdue; he later played six professional seasons with the Browns and Colts. He was an assistant coach to Ara Parseghian at NU from 1956-1963 before becoming head coach when Ara left for Notre Dame; Agase compiled a record of 32-58-1 in nine seasons leading the Wildcats. Rest in peace, "Coach."