Sunday, January 28, 2007

"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" ---- 02-03-07

If I'm writing sports headlines.......

*Football coach Urban Meyer bringing a new attitude, offense, and national championship to the University of Florida: Urban Renewal

*Mark McGwire appearing on fewer than 25% of the 75% of ballots needed to be elected to the Hall of Fame: Way Off The "Mark"

*Roanoke beats Lynchburg 91-34 in a men's college basketball game two weeks ago: A Southern "Lynch-ing"

*Carlos Boozer scores 25 points and pulls down 19 rebounds--leading the Jazz past the Nuggets: Too Much "Booze"

*Barry Zito signs a 7-year, $126 million deal with the Giants:
"Barry" Good Money

*X-rays on LeBron James' big toe turn out negative:
"Toe"-tal Relief For Cavs’ Fans

*An awful shooting performance by Knicks guard Steve Francis:
Stevie Blunder

*Kobe Bryant caught cheating on wife: A Man For All "Sleaze-ons"

*QB Peyton Manning leads Colts past Patriots and into Super Bowl XLI: "Manning" The Ship To Miami

*World Cup skier Rainer Schoenfelder agrees to ski naked in Switzerland after losing a bet with his physiotherapist: Polar Bare

*Hawks forward Josh Smith raises both middle fingers to the crowd in Charlotte: A Hawk That Does "Flips"

*N.Y. Yankees allowed to charge $400 for a single seat at home games: Yankee Panky

*Cincinnati Bengals have NINE players arrested in NINE months:
"Sing-Sing"-nati Bengals

*QB Michael Vick gives an obscene gesture to hometown fans in Atlanta: "Vick-tory" Salute

*Tampa Bay Lightning forward Martin St. Louis recognized for his sportsmanship: The Spirit Of St. Louis

*Alfonso Soriano inks $136 million contract with Cubs: $oriano $igns

*Troubled guard Stephen Jackson traded from Pacers to Warriors: Stephen Leavin'--Fans Not Grievin'

*Notre Dame point guard Kyle McAlarney busted on a marijuana charge: "Grass" Stains On Irish Season

*Eligible bachelor/QB Tom Brady and supermodel Gisele Bundchen now dating: A "Bundch" Of Good Looks

*16-year-old golfer Tadd Fujikawa makes the cut at the Sony Open--but finishes tied for 20th place: A "Tadd" Too Young

*Toronto Blue Jays sign 1B Lyle Overbay to 4-year, $24 million contract: Did Blue Jays Overpay Overbay?

*Attractive poker pro Annie Duke becomes the all-time earner among women players: A "Poker Face" To Die For

*Serena Williams wins Australian Open: Although "Down Under," Serena On Top Of The World After Win

*UCONN women's player Charde Houston admonished by coach Geno Auriemma after making too many turnovers:
Houston, We Have A Problem

*Yale nose tackle Brandt Hollander named team's football captain: "Brandt" New Leader

*Mike Tyson arrested on drug charges in Arizona: Desert Dumbbell

*Two-time Indy 500 winner Al Unser Jr. arrested on DUI charges: "Little Al" in BIG Trouble

*The cost of the new Giants/Jets stadium rises from $800 million to $1.4 billion: A "Giant" Miscalculation

*Finally, former St. Louis Cardinals GM Vaughan "Bing" Devine dies at the age of 90: Bing's Legacy Truly A "Devine" One

Bob Lazzari

Reprinted by permission of the Valley Times.


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