"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" ---- 12-02-06

In his autobiography published earlier this year, golfer John Daly (who just filed for his FOURTH divorce) titled one chapter "All My Exes Wear Rolexes." Look on the bright side, John: from this day forward, you'll always have a better appreciation for the expression "time is money"..........TRIVIA QUESTION: Who was the first NFL player to score TWO 90+ yard TD's from scrimmage in the same game? Answer to follow..........Compliments of my good friend Wayne Norman of WILI AM radio: If UCONN athletes Mel Thomas and Terry Caulley were to ever marry and produce a child, could we then call their offspring a "Mel an' Caulley baby"?..........The "Unwatchable NBA" Update: During a recent, embarrassing home loss to Portland, the New Jersey Nets scored a grand total of just 68 points--only TWENTY-SIX of them coming in the first half (not a misprint). In addition, N.J. missed a dozen free throws during this debacle and shot 2-for-12 from three-point range. Yes, New Jersey is called the "Garden State," and it surely appeared that there was a lot of "stinkweed" growing in the Meadowlands on that particular evening..........This week in sports history, December 3, 1956: In his college basketball debut, center Wilt Chamberlain of the University of Kansas scores a school-record 52 points--leading his team to an 87-69 victory over Northwestern. Scoring most of his baskets on dunks, the 7-foot Philadelphia product scored 25 points in the first half and added 27 after halftime as 15,000 fans looked on in Lawrence, Kansas..........Best name for a Connecticut high school football player this year: RB Xerxes Baccus of East Lyme. Now try saying THAT name ten times in rapid succession..........Wanna know about a HUGE "athletic supporter"--one that is neither sweaty/smelly nor hanging from the locker of an offensive lineman? His name is William Powers--a California investor/Princeton alumnus who just committed $10 million to the Ivy League school's football program..........Answer to trivia question: JOHN TAYLOR of the S.F. 49ers--who scored on TD catches of 92 and 95 yards during a game in 1989 vs. the Rams..........From the "Little Bang for Big Bucks" Dept.: How 'bout N.Y. Knicks guards Stephon Marbury and Stevie Francis--who shot a combined 1-for-10 from the field and scored a collective total of just FIVE points during a recent loss to Cleveland? Here's the topper: The duo will earn a total of $32 MILLION between them for the 2006-2007 season..........Lazzari's "Lopsided Score of the Week": In a college basketball game last week, #1-ranked Florida defeated Prairie View 94-33. I can assure you of one thing: Members of the losing squad would have been MUCH better off gazing at the prairie that evening than showing up in Gainesville and being beaten to a pulp..........In between football games on Thanksgiving Day, I was watching VH1's "100 Greatest Artists of Hard Rock." I can't say for sure whether I watched it to hear some terrific music or because Carmen Electra was hosting..........Happy birthday wishes go out to former big league infielder Tucker Ashford--who blows out 52 candles on December 4th. A highly touted player who was the Padres' first-round pick in the 1974 amateur draft, Ashford never found a way to hit major league pitching--hitting just .218 over a short, seven-year career. He played with five different teams during his not-so-spectacular playing days--including the Yankees and Mets--but never played more than 81 games in a season; he later became a manager in the Mets' farm system. Best wishes, Tucker..........
Finally, condolences go out to the families of former Michigan football coach Bo Schembechler and ex-NFL linebacker Marlin McKeever--both of whom died recently. Schembechler, who died of congestive heart failure at the age of 77, coached 21 seasons at Michigan--taking his teams to 17 bowl games (including 10 Rose Bowls); he won 234 games lifetime as coach of both the Wolverines and Miami (OH). McKeever died at the age of 66 of head injuries from a fall at his home. A two-time All-American at USC, he spent 13 years in the NFL between 1961 and 1973--playing for the Rams, Vikings, Redskins, and Eagles. May these two gentlemen rest in peace.

Bob Lazzari

Reprinted by permission of the Valley Times.