"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" ---- 05-20-06

How 'bout Loek Van Mil--the 7-foot-1 pitcher in the Minnesota Twins farm system? I figure if he doesn't make it in the big leagues, he can always land a job changing light bulbs at the Mall of America..........
TRIVIA QUESTION: What pitcher holds the K.C. Royals club record for career victories? Answer to follow..........Do you get the feeling that the women wearing those gaudy bonnets at races like the Kentucky Derby do it more to flaunt their wealth than out of respect for any kind of tradition?..........Lazzari's "Lopsided Score of the Week": In a Connecticut boys high school baseball fiasco two weeks ago, Hand High defeated Hillhouse 23-1; Hand led 14-0 after three innings while Hillhouse committed SEVEN errors during the game. If I'm writing headlines for the local sports section the next day, I bring attention to the losing team's defensive liabilities and offer this: HILLHOUSE LENDS HELPING "HAND" TO OPPONENT--LOSING 23-1..........This week in sports history, May 21, 1979: With Ken Dryden in goal, the Montreal Canadiens defeat the N.Y. Rangers 4-1--claiming their fourth consecutive Stanley Cup. Playing before a home crowd at the Montreal Forum, the Habs were led by Jacques Lemaire's two second-period goals--enabling the Canadiens to wrap up the series in five games..........Can you imagine if LPGA golfer Alena Sharp married PGA golfer D.A. Points? There'd be nothing "dull" about her full married name: Alena Sharp Points..........Shame on the Puerto Rico Boxing Commission--who recently licensed heavyweight fighter Joe Mesi amid much controversy. Shortly thereafter, Mesi--who suffered two blood clots on the brain in 2004--absorbed substantial head punches in a bout vs. Ron Bellamy. I'm no doctor, but I have to believe that the presence of common sense on that commission is as scarce as a blizzard in San Juan..........Answer to trivia question: PAUL SPLITTORFF--who won 166 games for the Royals from 1970-1984..........A couple of Sundays ago, I saw Braves P John Smoltz strike out Mets hurler Jose Lima (a .130 lifetime hitter) on three pitches. I haven't seen a mismatch like that since Dyan Cannon married Cary Grant..........Lazzari's "Cheap Win of the Week": Has to go to the Phillies' Tom Gordon. He enters a game vs. the Mets with a 4-2 lead in the ninth and blows the save opportunity; he pitches one inning, gives up three hits, walks two batters, gives up a HR to Carlos Delgado, and throws a total of 25 pitches. However, he does his best "vulture" imitation and gets the "W" as his team rallies in the bottom of the ninth to win 5-4..........What is more absurd: Shaquille O'Neal complaining about referee calls or Paris Hilton having a video game on the market?..........If San Francisco 49ers offensive coordinator Norv Turner isn't currently spending ten hours per day trying to figure out how to get the ball into the hands of newly drafted TE Vernon Davis, then he should be relieved of his duties IMMEDIATELY........
Is it me--or wasn't Brad Lidge of the Houston Astros supposed to be the best closer in baseball by now?..........Happy birthday wishes go out to former big league first baseman Kent Hrbek--who blows out 46 candles on May 21st. Hrbek spent his entire career in Minnesota--playing for the Twins from 1981-1994. A .282 lifetime hitter, Hrbek hit 293 lifetime HR's and drove in 1,086 runs during his career; he was an All-Star in 1982. However, Hrbek's best year came in '84--when he hit 27 homers, drove in 107 runs, and hit .311. A "free spirit," Hrbek was an integral part of the Twins' '87 and '91 championship teams. Best wishes, Kent..........Finally, condolences go out to the family of former heavyweight champion Floyd Patterson--who died recently at his home in New York after suffering from Alzheimer's disease and prostate cancer; he was 71. Patterson will be remembered for many things (e.g., his thrilling fights with Ingemar Johansson); he was an undersized champion who became the youngest man to win the title in 1956 (at age 21--since bettered by Mike Tyson) with a KO of Archie Moore. Having previously written at length about this gentleman, I'll just conclude by saying that there was no classier fighter than Floyd Patterson; rest in peace, "Champ."

Bob Lazzari

Reprinted by permission of the Valley Times.