"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" ---- 12-03-05

Need a unique holiday gift? How 'bout Terrell Owens Peanut Brittle--available on this malcontent's website? If it's anything like its namesake, this stuff must be highly overpriced, very "loosely-wrapped," and EXTREMELY hard to stomach..........TRIVIA QUESTION #1: Twice during the 1970s, a member of the Montreal Canadiens led the NHL in goals scored. Name these two players; answer to follow..........How PATHETIC was the quarterback play during last weekend's UCONN/South Florida game? The Huskies' Matt Bonislawski and USF's Pat Julmiste combined to complete just 18 of 52 passes for only 249 yards. This "dynamic duo" combination also rushed 18 times for 10 yards, threw three interceptions, and did NOT throw a single TD pass. Rolaids, anyone?..........Can you imagine if Yoko Ono married former distance runner Henry Rono, divorced, then married former NFL quarterback Steve Bono? Her late husband John would have been proud of her rhyming ability as she'd be roaming the streets of Manhattan with the name of Yoko Ono Rono Bono..........How come I think of General George Armstrong Custer when I think of manager Joe Girardi's new gig with the Florida Marlins?..........Lazzari's "Lopsided Score of the Week": In a men's college basketball game last week, High Point (NC) defeated Southeastern (FL) 110-57. Let's just hope this effort ends up being the LOW POINT of the 2005-2006 campaign for the losing squad--or it's gonna be a HELLUVA long season..........I am now TOTALLY convinced that Duke guard J.J. Redick can shoot 75% from the free-throw line BLINDFOLDED..........This week in sports history, December 4, 1988: RB Barry Sanders of Oklahoma State rushes for 257 yards and scores 4 TD's as his team defeats Texas Tech 45-42 to close out the regular season. Sanders, who was named the Heisman Trophy winner the same day, finished the season with 2,553 yards--breaking Marcus Allen's single-season rushing record (2,342) set back in 1981..........Answer to trivia question #1: STEVE SHUTT (1977) and GUY LAFLEUR (1978)--both of whom scored 60 goals apiece in their respective years to lead the league..........The "Unwatchable NBA" Update: In a "thriller" last weekend, Orlando beat Miami 80-77. The Heat shot 26-for-81 from the field, 6-for-21 from three-point-range, and missed ten free throws; they also scored a miniscule 33 points in the first half. Tums, anyone?..........TRIVIA QUESTION #2: What AFC running back led the NFL in rushing during the strike-shortened season of 1982? Answer to follow..........Best wishes go out to Hall of Fame jockey Gary Stevens--who retired after placing second in his final race last weekend at Churchill Downs. He finished his career with over 5,000 wins and more than $220 million in purse earnings. He won the Kentucky Derby three times--aboard Winning Colors (1988), Thunder Gulch (1995), and Silver Charm (1997); he also won the Preakness twice. Best wishes, Gary..........How 'bout PGA golfer Fred Funk who--after a friendly bet--donned a pink skirt last weekend at the Skins Game in California after being out-driven by Annika Sorenstam? After seeing Funk in such unflattering garb, I believe I now know the REAL reason why PGA golfers aren't allowed to wear shorts..........I don't know which was a WORSE performance: the Lions' effort at home against the Falcons on Thanksgiving (a 27-7 loss) or the Redskins’ failure to show up vs. the Giants a few weeks ago (a 36-0 loss). Those who witnessed these debacles will know what I'm talking about. Alka Seltzer, anyone?..........Another milestone for yours truly: I fell in love with a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader for the 1,000th time on Thanksgiving Day...........Answer to trivia question #2: FREEMAN McNEIL of the N.Y. Jets--who rushed for 786 yards; Tony Dorsett of the Dallas Cowboys was second in the league with a total of 745..........Happy birthday wishes go out to former major league outfielder George Foster--who recently celebrated his 57th birthday on December 1st. A native of Alabama, Foster played 18 seasons between 1969 and 1986 for the Giants, Reds, Mets, and White Sox--hitting 348 home runs along the way. A five-time All-Star, Foster was an integral part of Cincinnati's famed "Big Red Machine" during the ‘70s--a team that won world championships in both '75 and '76. Few will forget his tremendous 1977 season with the Reds when he hit 52 homers, drove in 149, and hit .320--enabling him to win the NL MVP Award. Here's wishing you many more celebrations, George..........Finally, condolences go out to the family of soccer legend George Best--who died recently in London at the age of 59 from multiple organ failure. Famous for his spectacular play with both Manchester United and Northern Ireland, Best was voted European Footballer of the Year in 1968--the same year he led his United team to the coveted European Cup. A heavy drinker for many years, Best underwent a liver transplant in 2002; sadly, he continued to imbibe thereafter. He is now buried in Belfast alongside his mother, Ann. May he rest in peace.

Bob Lazzari

Reprinted by permission of the Valley Times.