"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" ---- 08-20-05

Heavyweight boxer Clifford Etienne (an ex-con in the sport of boxing--shocking!) has been arrested again after holding up a check-cashing business in Baton Rouge; he discharged a firearm and also pulled a gun on an officer during the chain of events. Looks like left jabs aren't the ONLY things Etienne has been "firing" over the years, huh?..........TRIVIA QUESTION #1: In 1951, an American League rookie homered in his first two major league at-bats. Who was this player? Answer to follow..........Diamondbacks TV analyst Mark Grace recently spewed a variety of expletives during an Arizona/Florida broadcast; NO disciplinary action was taken. Just further evidence of the scourge/epidemic that Howard Cosell called the "jockocracy"--former athletes infiltrating the broadcast booth at will without ANY attention given to their merit/qualifications. I can hear you stirring, Howard..........Should we TRULY be surprised that the NHL has reinstated Canucks forward/thug Todd Bertuzzi--who broke the neck of Colorado's Steve Moore 17 months ago? This is a league that CONDONES violence and realizes that fighting (unlike any other sport besides boxing) is an INTEGRAL part of its moneymaking machine. That, combined with the recent NHL lockout and the absence/retirements of players like Gretzky and Lemieux over the past few years, makes the game less interesting than bull riding at this juncture..........If Baltimore Orioles pitcher Sidney Ponson is worth $8.5 million per season, then yours truly will have consecutive evening dates with Jennifer Aniston, Christie Brinkley, and Charlize Theron this coming week..........What did I take away from last week's PGA Championship? Besides some good golf, I uncovered the fact that I have WAY too much fun pronouncing the word "Baltusrol."..........Answer to trivia question #1: BOB NIEMAN of the St. Louis Browns--who accomplished the feat in September of that year in Fenway Park against Red Sox pitcher Mickey McDermott..........I'd like to see actress Tracey Gold hook up with NBA player Kareem Rush of the Charlotte Bobcats. If they ever tied the knot, miners in California would delight in her married name of Tracey Gold Rush..........TRIVIA QUESTION #2: Name the youngest head coach in NBA history; answer to follow..........Did you know that, in 1967, the Cleveland Indians' pitching staff fanned a remarkable 1,189 batters (a record at the time)--but STILL finished in EIGHTH PLACE in the American League? Despite the efforts of guys like "Sudden" Sam McDowell (236 K's) and Luis Tiant (216 K's), Cleveland would finish 17 games behind the pennant-winning Red Sox..........To hell with visiting my local car dealership or electronics store anytime soon. The next time I'm in the market for an automobile or laptop computer, I'll be sure to check with players/administrators from UCONN beforehand..........Is it me--or is reliever Mike Timlin of the Red Sox the worst pitcher anyone has ever seen with an ERA under 2.00?..........Gotta love the Perez family--of which Cubs SS Neifi is a member. Neifi's siblings (7 or 8 of them from the Dominican Republic) are ALL professionals--all college grads which include a doctor, architect, etc. The ironic thing? Neifi is the only family member who never stepped foot on a college campus--and currently earns more than ANY of them..........This week in sports history, August 22, 1989: In 100-degree heat at Arlington Stadium in Texas, Rangers pitcher Nolan Ryan records his mind-boggling 5,000th career strikeout--fanning A's outfielder Rickey Henderson in the fifth inning. A crowd of close to 43,000 witnessed the milestone; ironically, Ryan would strike out 13 batters during the game but lose a 2-0 decision to the Rangers' West Division rivals..........I'm VERY impressed with N.Y. Giants fourth-round draft pick (a bargain) Brandon Jacobs. The HUGE RB seems cut out (unlike former Giant Ron Dayne) for short-yardage situations and possesses 4.4 speed to boot. If used CORRECTLY, this guy could have a MAJOR impact on the 2005 squad--and aid/ease greatly the continued development of QB Eli Manning..........Answer to trivia question #2: DAVE DeBUSSCHERE--who was named player-coach of the Detroit Pistons in 1964 at the tender age of 24..........Happy birthday wishes go out to former major league catcher John Stearns--who blows out 54 candles on August 21st. A former football player at the University of Colorado, Stearns played a total of 11 seasons between 1974 and 1984 with the Phillies and Mets; he was named to the NL All-Star team four times while playing in New York. A hard-nosed player whose career was curtailed by injuries, Stearns stole 25 bases in 1978 for the Mets--a league record at the time for catchers. Best wishes, John..........Finally, condolences go out to the family of former major league manager Gene Mauch--who died recently of cancer at the age of 79. Once a utility infielder in the big leagues, Mauch spent 26 seasons as manager of the Phillies, Expos, Twins, and Angels--winning over 1,900 games and capturing two division titles with California. Known as a shrewd technician who always made use of his entire roster, Mauch was named NL Manager of the Year three times; the great Rod Carew is among those ex-players who've relayed that Mauch was the best manager they ever played for. Rest in peace, "Skip."

Bob Lazzari

Reprinted by permission of the Valley Times.