"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" -- 04-16-05

There are THREE things that all of us should refrain from: Don't EVER drink and drive, don't EVER try to predict the New England weather, and don't EVER doubt Tiger Woods' golf game..........TRIVIA QUESTION #1: Who was the first NHL player to score 100 points in a season? Answer to follow..........I see that Yankees ace Randy Johnson and his family are now living in a luxury condo in NYC that goes for 25 grand a month. At this point, I'm convinced that I couldn't even afford the ICE BUCKET that this guy soaks his left arm in after every start..........They may not have won the NCAA championship a couple of weeks ago, but I STILL have never seen a college team move the basketball around quite like Bruce Weber's 2004-2005 Illinois squad..........The "Unwatchable NBA" Update: The ugliness continues, folks. In a game in Milwaukee last week, the Charlotte Bobcats shot 29-for-90 from the field during a 93-75 loss to the Bucks. Here's more: Seven Charlotte players combined to shoot a pitiful 1-for-13 from three-point range that evening..........This weekend in Tokyo, Thailand's Veeraphol Nakhonluang will face Japan's Hozumi Hasegawa for the WBC bantamweight championship. All I can say is that I hope these two boxers have nicknames--or they may have to give several standing eight-counts to the broadcasters in attendance who have to continually pronounce those names for twelve rounds..........How 'bout the Cypress Cove Nudist Resort & Spa in Kissimmee, Florida--which houses a nine-hole golf course? I've heard of people getting so-called "rosy cheeks" from being exposed to sunlight before, but playing a round of golf there gives that expression an ENTIRELY new meaning..........If Yankee Alex Rodriguez is worth TWICE as much money per season as Colorado's Todd Helton, then "Weird Al" Yankovic should be considered a better entertainer than the late Jackie Gleason..........This week in sports history, April 18, 1966: While seeking their eighth straight NBA championship vs. Los Angeles, the Boston Celtics announce that star center Bill Russell will become player/coach for the 1966-'67 season. The move would make Russell the league's first black coach; the legendary Red Auerbach--Boston's coach the previous 16 seasons--would remain with the team to concentrate solely on his general manager duties..........Answer to trivia question #1: PHIL ESPOSITO--who scored 126 points for the Boston Bruins during the 1968-'69 season..........Lazzari's "Lopsided Score of the Week": In a high school softball game here in Connecticut recently, the Old Lyme girls defeated Holy Family 34-4, with the winning team scoring a total of NINETEEN runs in the bottom of the first. If I'm the Holy Family coach, I inject a bit of comforting humor into my players after the game by offering this: "Don't worry, gals. The sun will rise tomorrow, we have our health intact, and we only play Old Lyme ONCE this season."..........The day a NASCAR crew chief is accused of doing steroids is the day I stop following sports FOREVER..........TRIVIA QUESTION #2: Who was the first Minnesota Twins hurler to put together back-to-back 20-win seasons? Answer to follow..........Regarding the Yankees' radio broadcast team: Don't you wish Suzyn Waldman had John Sterling's voice--and Sterling had Waldman's personality?..........Good news and bad news for the Bolton (CT) High School softball team. The good news? In a recent game vs. Windham Tech, they scored runs in EVERY inning but one--including a 13-run, 6th-inning outburst. The bad news? They GAVE UP 16 runs to their opponents in the second inning that day and ended up losing the game 29-28..........Former NBA star Shawn Kemp has been arrested after cocaine, marijuana, and a pistol were found inside a truck in which he was riding. I can see now that Kemp's personal slogan since retiring is "Just Say No"--to obeying the law and being a model citizen..........Answer to trivia question #2: CAMILO PASCUAL--who won 20 games for the Twins in 1962 and followed up by winning 21 games during the '63 season..........Happy birthday wishes go out to two individuals--former big league outfielder Willie Davis and former NBA guard Kevin Porter. Davis, who celebrated his 65th birthday on April 15th, was once considered the fastest man in baseball and played 18 seasons with the Dodgers, Expos, Rangers, Cardinals, Padres, and Angels; he also spent time playing in Japan before ending his career with California in 1979. As an outfielder, he was a three-time Gold Glove winner and amassed over 2,500 hits in his career--finishing with a lifetime batting average of .279. Porter, a Chicago native, blows out 55 candles on April 17th. He played ten seasons with the Bullets, Pistons, and Nets, and led the NBA in assists an impressive four times; he averaged 8.1 assists per game over his entire career. Best wishes, gentlemen..........Finally, condolences go out to the family of former Yankees pitcher Marius Russo--who died recently at the age of 90 after battling several illnesses. Russo pitched in New York from 1939-1943 and also in 1946; he won 45 games as a Yankee and was named to the AL All-Star team in 1941. A member of two world-championship squads, Russo finished with a respectable lifetime ERA of 3.13. May he rest in peace.

Bob Lazzari

Reprinted by permission of the Valley Times.