"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" -- 04-02-05

Lazzari's "Question of the Week": Of the following individuals, who smiles the LEAST: Yankees pitcher Kevin Brown, Texas Tech basketball coach Bob Knight, or yours truly when filling up my car with gasoline these days?..........TRIVIA QUESTION #1: Who is the only player to score 40 or more points in six consecutive NBA postseason games? Answer to follow..........If I'm a restaurateur (with a warped sense of humor), I capitalize on the current controversy and add the "Big League Steroid Burger" to my menu. I recommend it to customers--telling them that it is HUGE and filled with "juice." In addition, I provide hypodermic needles to customers when serving it--in order for them to inject their choice of ketchup, mustard, etc.--through the "buns" provided with the burger, of course!..........The "Unwatchable NBA" Update: In a pathetic game a few weeks ago in Detroit, the Pistons defeated the Jazz 64-62. Here's more: The two teams combined to shoot 47-for-147 from the field (32%)--including a laughable 2-for-25 from three-point range..........How 'bout Orioles pitcher Sidney Ponson? In the last three months or so, he has punched a judge in Aruba, been busted for driving under the influence, and has hurt his pitching hand during a bar fight. Yeah, I guess you can call him the team's MVP at this point--MOST likely to VIOLATE PROBATION..........Legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden recently told the New York Post that one of his pet peeves is people who don't accept responsibility/those who blame others. Don't expect Barry Bonds to be on the guest list for Wooden's upcoming 95th birthday celebration..........I swear that I've seen more tattoos during this year's men's NCAA basketball tournament than I did the last time I was in Daytona Beach during Bike Week..........Answer to trivia question #1: JERRY WEST--who, as a member of the Lakers, accomplished the feat in 1965 vs. Baltimore; he averaged 46.3 points per game in the six-game series..........This week in sports history, April 4, 1986: Wayne Gretzky of the Edmonton Oilers breaks his own NHL single-season points record--assisting on three goals during a 9-3 loss to Calgary. "The Great One's" three-point effort would raise his season total to a staggering 214..........Interesting decision by the Dolphins--signing former Patriots safety Tebucky Jones--seeing that the guy even has trouble covering his MOUTH when he coughs. Perhaps Miami is still impressed with Jones' still better-than-average speed--and may possibly utilize his talents by having him return kicks..........Did you know that, in 1966, the American League had only TWO regular players who hit above .288? Frank Robinson of the Orioles and Tony Oliva of the Twins shared this distinction; Robinson won the batting title with an average of .316 while Oliva finished second at .307..........Gotta love WFAN's Steve Somers and his recent reference to the aforementioned, embattled San Francisco Giants slugger: "Bar-roid" Bonds..........TRIVIA QUESTION #2: What pitcher holds the Cleveland Indians team record for most saves in a season? Answer to follow..........From the "How Times Have Changed" Dept.: We recently heard about Roger Clemens' orange Hummer--which was stolen, then subsequently recovered after his son drove it to school; the kid drove a black Hummer before that. When I was a kid, I brought a Hummer to school, too--only we called it a KAZOO back then..........Tennessee Titans left tackle Brad Hopkins has been arrested on domestic assault charges--making him the THIRD starter from last year's team to be arrested during the off-season. Rumor has it that the Titans' management staff will soon post the following on the walls of their administrative offices: a waiver list, a draft list, a disabled list, and a WANTED list..........Sammy Sosa's bogus need for a translator at the recent Congressional hearing is equivalent to model Kate Moss needing liposuction..........Answer to trivia question #2: JOSE MESA--who saved 46 games for Mike Hargrove's pennant-winning Tribe in 1995..........Happy birthday wishes go out to former big-leaguer Wally Moon--who blows out 75 candles on April 3rd. An Arkansas native, Moon played 12 seasons for the Cardinals and the Dodgers from 1954-1965, and was named the National League's Rookie of the Year in 1954 while in St. Louis. He amassed 1,399 hits during his career--414 for extra bases--and finished with a .289 lifetime batting average. A fine defensive outfielder, Moon won a Gold Glove award in 1960, and was named to the NL All-Star team in both 1957 and 1959. Here's wishing you many more celebrations, Wally..........Finally, condolences go out to the family of former NFL linebacker David Little--who died recently while lifting weights at his Florida home; he was 46. Having spent his entire 12-year career with the Pittsburgh Steelers, Little was voted to the Pro Bowl in 1990--and appeared in 89 games in a row during his playing days. Sadly, he also suffered from heart disease. May he rest in peace.

Bob Lazzari

Reprinted by permission of the Valley Times.