"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" -- 02-05-05

At last glance, PGA golfers Tiger Woods, Chris Smith, and Harrison Frazar were all averaging over 300 yards in driving distance on the 2005 tour. My drives average a bit over 300 yards, too: my drive to work, to the supermarket, to the dentist's office, etc...........TRIVIA QUESTION #1: Four men have coached the same NFL team for 20 or more consecutive years. Name them; answer to follow..........If former Yankees pitcher Orlando "El Duque" Hernandez is now 39 years old (as various publications claim), then "The Donald" and Melania stayed at a Motel 6 on their honeymoon..........Trail Blazers forward Darius Miles was recently suspended by the team after engaging in a heated argument with coach Maurice Cheeks while watching game films. Rumor has it that Cheeks was miffed that Miles made too many trips to the lobby/concession stand for popcorn--but that couldn't be confirmed as of press time..........55-year-old Larry Holmes is now expressing interest in fighting 56-year-old George Foreman. One thing's for sure: If and when this fight comes off, it better happen SOON--or these guys will be entering the boxing ring wearing Depends instead of boxing trunks..........Former NBA forward/Connecticut's own Scott Burell has joined the Hitachi Sunrockers--a professional basketball team in Japan; he has also played in the Philippines and China since 2003. It's only a matter of time (if it hasn't happened already) until this guy's friends start calling him the "Orient Express."..........This week in sports history, February 7, 1976: Darryl Sittler of the Toronto Maple Leafs scores a remarkable, single-game record 10 points--leading his team to an 11-4 victory over the Boston Bruins. Sittler's six goal/four assist performance would shatter the old NHL mark of eight points in a game--formerly shared by two Montreal players: Maurice Richard (1944) and Bert Olmstead (1954)..........In an Arena Football League game last weekend, Rich Young of the Colorado Crush sacked the opposing quarterback in the end zone for a safety--then proceeded to do three push-ups instead of the appropriate two. Then again, in a league where there is a one-minute warning, I guess anything goes, huh?..........If there's a prettier college basketball player than Tennessee's Brittany Jackson, please email that individual's picture to the Valley Times sports department IMMEDIATELY..........Answer to trivia question #1: CURLY LAMBEAU (Green Bay), TOM LANDRY (Dallas), STEVE OWEN (N.Y. Giants), and DON SHULA (Miami)..........The "Unwatchable NBA" Update: The Knicks scored 61 points in a loss to Detroit last weekend (scoring a PUTRID 26 in the entire second half) and lost by 30; they shot 1-for-10 (10%) from three-point range and 53% from the foul line. In addition, SEVEN other teams failed to reach the 90-point mark the same evening..........And it surely seems that pro basketball's offensive ineptitude starts at the college level: St. John's and Seton Hall combined to shoot 7-for-34 from three-point range in their Big East game last weekend..........TRIVIA QUESTION #2: What player holds the Texas Rangers’ team record for most triples in a season? Answer to follow..........Do you get the feeling that, starting next season, EVERY NFL team playing Atlanta will be watching films of the Eagles defense (in this year's NFC championship game) in order to better contain QB Michael Vick?..........Anna Benson, wife of Mets pitcher Kris Benson, recently told the New York Post that she is sexy because "I have something to say. I'm not just sexy because of the way I look." Yeah, right, Anna--I guess that's why your racy website caters to Rhodes scholars, lovers of the humanities, and people who base their lives on your words of sophisticated wisdom. Sheesh..........Did you know that, in 1968, the Oakland A's led the American League in team batting--with an incredibly low average of just .240? Amazingly, the Yankees hit only .214 as a team that season--but finished AHEAD of Oakland in the standings..........Answer to trivia question #2: RUBEN SIERRA--who legged out 14 three-baggers in 1989 for the fourth-place Rangers..........Lazzari's "Lopsided Score of the Week": In a recent Connecticut girls high school basketball game, East Hampton defeated Vinal Tech 57-4--with the victors outscoring Vinal 28-0 in the second and third quarters. I haven't seen anything that nasty/ugly since one of my ex-roommates at Fordham ate 12 White Castle burgers and then tried to wash them down with a fifth of Jim Beam..........Finally, happy birthday wishes go out to former big league second baseman Damaso Garcia--who blows out 50 candles on February 7th. A .283 lifetime hitter, Garcia played 11 seasons with the Yankees, Blue Jays, Braves, and Expos. He stole 203 bases during his career and was named to the American League All-Star team in 1984 and 1985 while playing with Toronto. Here's wishing you many more celebrations, Damaso.

Bob Lazzari

Reprinted by permission of the Valley Times.