"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" -- 10-23-04

S.F. Giants outfielder Barry Bonds recently underwent a 20-minute arthroscopic procedure to clean up some arthritis in his left knee. I asked my family physician the other day if he could clean up all of MY arthritis in 20 minutes. His response? He told me he was a doctor--NOT a miracle worker..........TRIVIA QUESTION #1: Boston's Jim Lonborg threw a one-hitter against St. Louis in Game 2 of the 1967 World Series. Who was the lone Cardinal to obtain a hit that day? Answer to follow..........What's the definition of a true basketball fan? Answer: If you bypassed watching Game 1 of the Red Sox/Yankees ALCS in favor of the Bulls/Celtics exhibition game on October 12th..........Cowboys QB Vinny Testaverde was sacked only four times in the team's first four games this season. Obviously, coach Bill Parcells read his offensive line the "riot act" about protecting his immobile quarterback. Kinda conjures up memories of years ago--when a guy named Weeb Ewbank and others did the same thing for a weak-kneed guy nicknamed "Joe Willie"...........Did you know that former Cornell running back/actor Ed Marinaro ran for over 200 yards in a game SIX TIMES during his Ivy League career? He did it three times in 1971 alone--a year in which he ran for 1,881 yards with 24 rushing touchdowns..........Trail Blazers forward Qyntel Woods has been at the center of a dog fighting investigation after he recently abandoned his pit bull; reportedly, it wouldn't fight for him. I can picture it now--some smart-aleck Portland PR person playing "Who Let The Dogs Out?" every time Woods is introduced at a home game..........Quarterback P.J. Piskorik of the University of Buffalo was recently suspended by the team for what the school termed "failing to meet obligations of an intercollegiate athlete." Geez, what did Piskorik do--go to classes, not take money from alumni, or actually plan on graduating?..........This week in sports history, October 25, 1979: QB Dan Fouts of the San Diego Chargers becomes the first NFL quarterback to pass for 300 yards in four consecutive games--throwing for 303 during a 45-22 blowout loss to the Oakland Raiders..........Answer to trivia question #1: Second baseman JULIAN JAVIER--who hit an impressive .360 during the series for the Cards; his team would go on to defeat the Red Sox 4 games to 3..........Wouldn't it be worth the price of admission to see N.Y. Giants TE Jeremy Shockey--JUST ONCE--make a nice play and then jog back to the huddle as if nothing happened?..........Two possible headlines that may appear in the N.Y. Post this coming off-season when Pedro Martinez signs with the Yankees: "COME TO DADDY" or "SAY HELLO TO YOUR DADDY"..........TRIVIA QUESTION #2: What veteran tennis player did Steffi Graf defeat to win her first Australian Open in 1988? Answer to follow..........Former big league outfielder Otis Nixon has been arrested TWICE so far in 2004--for allegedly threatening his bodyguard with a knife and also for sexual battery. Question: Can Nixon's questionable reputation have ANYTHING to do with him playing for a total of NINE different teams during his career? Hmmmmmmm..........I'm designating November 12th as the over/under date for Kobe Bryant hoisting up 40 or more shots in one game..........Here goes a sports-based, word association exercise (baseball this week)--where I'll say a term and then relay the first thing that comes to my mind in CAPS: Bonds--BALCO, Jeter--WINNER, Wilpons--CLUELESS, Yankee Stadium--CHECKBOOK, Pedro--DADDY, Nomar--LOSER, Selig--SPINELESS, Cashman--PUPPET, Mets--CIRCUS, A-Rod--MONEY, Beltran--YANKEES..........I'm trying to decide what I've seen more of this fall: dropped passes in the NFL or leaves on my front lawn..........Answer to trivia question #2: CHRIS EVERT--whom Graf defeated 6-1, 7-6 in January of that year..........Lazzari's "Lopsided Score of the Week": In a college football game in the Midwest last week, Wittenberg defeated Hiram 74-0. If I'm the Hiram coach, I lighten the mood a bit after the game and say the following: "Just think--it could have been worse; we could have stayed in the locker room the entire game and watched a monster truck pull on ESPN--or listened to a collection of sideline reports from Suzy Kolber instead."..........Happy birthday wishes go out to former big league outfielder Omar Moreno--who blows out 52 candles on October 24th. A Panama native, Moreno played 12 seasons with the Pirates, Astros, Yankees, Royals, and Braves--compiling a total of 1,257 hits and 487 stolen bases. Amazingly, Moreno stole 96 bases in 1980 for Pittsburgh but finished SECOND in steals that year to Montreal's Ron LeFlore--who stole 97..........Finally, condolences go out to the family of former NFL head coach Nick Skorich--who died recently at the age of 83 after heart surgery. Skorich headed the Eagles in the early 1960s, then coached the Cleveland Browns to the AFC Central title in 1971. He is survived by a wife, Theresa, and two daughters. Rest in peace, Nick.

Bob Lazzari

Reprinted by permission of the Valley Times.