"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" -- 05-14-05

How 'bout the luck of trainer Nick Zito--who had five horses in last weekend's Kentucky Derby with NONE of his finishing higher than seventh place? That's almost equivalent to a guy dating a "stable" of Claudia Schiffer, Elle MacPherson, Kathy Ireland, Heidi Klum, and Gisele Bundchen within the course of a week--and not even receiving a peck on the cheek along the way..........TRIVIA QUESTION #1: Who are the only two tennis players to have hosted NBC's "Saturday Night Live"? Answer to follow..........Is it me--or are more and more players/managers/media people classifying a starting pitcher's performance of, say, five innings/three earned runs as "impressive"? Somewhere, Bob Gibson, Sandy Koufax, Juan Marichal, and others have to be laughing at this..........Nothing against Knicks' GM Isiah Thomas, but this guy is about as qualified to run an NBA team as Barry Bonds is to run a public relations firm..........Did you know that former big leaguer Gonzalo Marquez--who became a semi-household name in 1972 after garnering FIVE pinch-hits in the postseason for Oakland--accumulated only 27 hits during his ENTIRE career? Marquez played only three seasons in the majors (with the A's and Cubs from 1972-1974), hitting just .235 in his short career; sadly, he was killed in an automobile accident in his native Venezuela in 1984 at the tender age of 38..........Former Olympic skating champion Peggy Fleming STILL remains living proof that aging is not so bad after all..........This week in sports history, May 16, 1987: Under the guidance of jockey Chris McCarron, Alysheba wins the Preakness Stakes at Pimlico in a time of 1:55 4/5--narrowly finishing ahead of Bet Twice once again. The two had battled two weeks before at the Kentucky Derby--with Alysheba winning by three-quarters of a length; Bet Twice would go on to avenge both those losses somewhat by winning the Belmont Stakes just a few weeks later--with Alysheba finishing fourth..........Answer to trivia question #1: CHRIS EVERT (1989) and ANDY RODDICK (2003)..........Lazzari's "Lopsided Score of the Week": In a Connecticut girls softball game recently, East Hampton High defeated Bolton 31-2 in a game called after five innings; the victors scored in double figures in both the third AND fourth innings--scoring 23 runs during that short stretch. Keeping score of that game would have been more difficult than listening to Fran Drescher slowly reciting a rendition of "Casey at the Bat"..........TRIVIA QUESTION #2: What pitcher holds the Baltimore Orioles team record for most losses in a season? Answer to follow..........O.J. Simpson was spotted at last weekend's Kentucky Derby--a guest of one of the horse owners. Word has it that Simpson left no blood on or near any of the "broncos" that were running that day..........If PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem is worth close to $4 million per year, then Richard Simmons will soon be the national spokesperson for Krispy Kreme..........Former catcher/Hall of Famer Carlton Fisk now has four grandchildren, folks. If that makes anyone out there feel old, please revisit the Peggy Fleming reference above..........The "Unwatchable NBA" Update: How 'bout the Rockets' FORTY-POINT LOSS last weekend against Dallas in Game 7 of their playoff series? Putting aside the efforts of Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming (who combined to score 60 of the team's pathetic total of 76 points that evening), the remainder of the Houston squad shot 6-for-33 from the field--which translates to an "under-whelming" 18% clip..........As long as guys like Scott Boras and Donald Fehr continue to have no trouble sleeping at night, baseball will continue to be just a shell of the game it once was..........Answer to trivia question #2: DON LARSEN--who lost 21 games in 1954 for the seventh-place Orioles while winning only three..........Happy birthday wishes go out to former MLB pitcher Jack Morris--who blows out 50 candles on May 16th. The winningest pitcher of the 1980s, Morris spent 18 seasons in the majors from 1977-1994 with the Tigers, Twins, Blue Jays, and Indians--and was a five-time All-Star. A three-time 20-game winner, Morris won 254 games in his fine career and was MVP of the 1991 World Series--which saw him beat the Braves twice; he threw a memorable 10-inning shutout in Game 7 that year to clinch the world championship for Minnesota. Best wishes, Jack..........Finally, best wishes go out to Carolina Panthers linebacker Mark Fields--who recently learned that his Hodgkin's disease has returned after having been in remission for a short time; he will miss the 2005 season. When something like this occurs, it allows us time to concentrate on where our priorities in life SHOULD be; it surely is a time to put our love of sports on the back burner for just a minute or two and realize what's most important during our daily grinds. Keep your chin up as you continue the fight, Mr. Fields; be assured that you have many people pulling for you during this very trying time.

Bob Lazzari

Reprinted by permission of the Valley Times.