"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" -- 01-08-05

What will last longer: Denver Nuggets forward Carmelo Anthony's marriage to MTV veejay La La Vasquez or the next lunar eclipse?..........TRIVIA QUESTION #1: What former major league outfielder was nicknamed "The Macaroni Pony"? Answer to follow..........If anyone out there has heard a more annoying laugh than CPTV's Meghan Pattyson Culmo during UCONN women's basketball coverage, send sports editor Bill Pucci a tape immediately; we'd love to hear it..........Shouldn't Shaquille O'Neal--with his size and the "thug-like," physical game the NBA allows him to play--be averaging at least 40 points per game?..........I was gonna say that George Steinbrenner has been spending money like a drunken sailor this off-season, but I've never even known of a SOBER serviceman who had THAT kind of money..........Did you know that, in 1937, outfielder Beau Bell of the St. Louis Browns had a league-leading 218 hits--including 73 extra-base hits--but scored a total of only 82 runs? Bell played for a Browns team that won only 46 games that season; in addition, no pitcher on that last-place team won more than nine games..........This week in sports history, January 10, 1982: With less than a minute remaining, QB Joe Montana of the San Francisco 49ers throws a 6-yard TD pass to a leaping Dwight Clark--enabling his team to pull out a 28-27 victory over Dallas and earn a trip to Super Bowl XVI. Clark's infamous catch capped an 89-yard drive that would burn 4 minutes, 3 seconds off the clock..........The most overused oxymoron in professional sports today? New York Yankees "prospect."..........Answer to trivia question #1: BOB COLUCCIO--who played with the Brewers, White Sox, and Cardinals from 1973-1978..........Does ANYONE out there actually believe that Auburn football coach Tommy Tuberville will fulfill the new seven-year contract he just agreed to--and NOT jump at the right NFL opportunity once it presents itself?..........Think the economics of baseball is a bit out of whack? Last year, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays' payroll was just above $24 million. This coming season, the LEFT SIDE of the Yankees infield will earn almost DOUBLE that..........Pitcher Sidney Ponson of the Baltimore Orioles was recently jailed in Aruba after allegedly assaulting a judge on Christmas Day. I'm not sure what's more criminal--the aforementioned offense or the fact that Ponson went 11-15 last year with a 5.30 ERA while raking in a few million dollars..........Red Sox outfielder Johnny Damon just wedded his sweetheart Michelle Mangan in Florida. No word yet on whether Damon wore his hair up or down for the ceremony..........TRIVIA QUESTION #2: Three colleges which begin with the letter "L" have won the NCAA men's basketball championship. Name them; answer to follow..........Some milestones are impressive, others simply mind-boggling. My good friend Robert "Raven" Kraft of Miami Beach, one of the top "streak runners" in the nation, recently celebrated his 30th anniversary; no, he's not married. Kraft has now run his 8-mile route for THIRTY straight years (starting in 1975) WITHOUT missing a day. He's approaching 11,000 consecutive days of running and his total mileage should pass the 90,000 mark some time in 2005. Simply remarkable; keep runnin', buddy..........Did anyone out there feel sorry for LSU football coach Nick Saban after his team's heartbreaking loss to Iowa last weekend in the Capital One Bowl--knowing that this guy has flip-flopped his allegiance to LSU constantly the last few years and now will earn a king's ransom coaching the Dolphins? No, you say? Me either, folks..........Lazzari's "Lopsided Score of the Week": In a men's college basketball game recently, Furman defeated Virginia Intermont 126-33. Question: Would it make the VI coach feel any better if he was told that if his team had DOUBLED their point output, they STILL would have lost by SIXTY points?..........And in a Connecticut girls high school basketball game before the new year, East Granby beat Ellis Tech 47-7--with the losing squad scoring just ONE POINT in the first three quarters. I'm now wondering if the coach of Ellis considers the team's six points in the final quarter a "scoring outburst."..........Answer to trivia question #2: LASALLE (1954), LOYOLA of CHICAGO (1963), and LOUISVILLE (1980, 1986)..........Happy birthday wishes go out to baseball Hall of Famer Willie "Stretch" McCovey--who blows out 67 candles on January 10th. A six-time All-Star, McCovey was the 1959 Rookie of the Year and the 1969 NL MVP while with the Giants. He hit 521 lifetime home runs over 22 seasons and was elected to Cooperstown in 1986..........Finally, condolences go out to the families of former major leaguers Johnny Oates and "Hot" Rod Kanehl--both of whom passed away recently. Oates, diagnosed with a brain tumor a few years ago, was a catcher who played 11 seasons with the Orioles, Braves, Phillies, Dodgers, and Yankees; he also managed the Orioles and Rangers between 1991 and 2001 and, while in Texas, was named co-Manager of the Year (with Joe Torre) in 1996. Kanehl, a Mets fan favorite during their inaugural season of 1962, spent three years with the team while playing every position except pitcher and catcher. He also hit the first grand slam in Mets history on July 6, 1962 vs. the Cardinals. Rest in peace, gentlemen.

Bob Lazzari

Reprinted by permission of the Valley Times.