"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - 12/24/11

O.K., I guess you can say Barry Bonds and the term "MVP" are usually associated with one another; hey, the guy won SEVEN of them, right? In my book, he'll ALWAYS be considered my own personal "MVP": Most Vile Person..........TRIVIA QUESTION: In Don Shula's last year of coaching the Miami Dolphins (1995), what player led the team in rushing yardage? Answer to follow.........Can you imagine if Ohio State tennis player Nicole Flower ever walked down the aisle with former NFL running back Roosevelt Potts? Horticulturists throughout the land would surely take pleasure in her full married name of Nicole Flower Potts..........The other day, I was sitting at Madison Square Garden enjoying a basketball game with lovely actress Jennifer Aniston--with TONS of mistletoe hanging from the rafters of that historic arena in NYC. Yeah--then I woke up..........This week in sports history, December 27, 1953: With 2:08 remaining in the game, QB Bobby Layne throws a 33-yard TD pass to Jim Doran--leading the Detroit Lions to a 17-16 victory over the Cleveland Browns in the NFL championship game. It was the Lions' second straight title, and was played before more than 54,000 fans at Briggs Stadium. Cleveland had built an early lead in the game due to three Lou Groza field goals. However, Cleveland quarterback Otto Graham had a miserable day for the visitors (2-for-15 passing), and his desperation pass in the closing minute was intercepted by rookie Carl Karilivacz--sealing the victory for the hometown Lions..........ITEM: Chicago Bears wide receiver Sam Hurd is busted after allegedly telling an undercover agent that he was interested in purchasing 5-10 kilograms of cocaine and 1,000 pounds of marijuana PER WEEK in order to distribute in the Chicago area. Well, at least we know that ONE thing is certain in this case: With THOSE kind of quantities being thrown out there, Hurd will NOT be able to change his tune down the road and say that his plan all along was to simply purchase the stuff for PERSONAL USE ONLY..........O.K.--one more: Just imagine if former North Carolina swimmer Kristin Oxford married NFL lineman Richard Seymour, divorced, married former tennis player Todd Woodbridge--divorced again--then married NBA Hall of Famer Earl Monroe. Those familiar with Connecticut towns would surely enjoy her full married name of Kristin Oxford Seymour Woodbridge Monroe..........I used to think that watching Ray Guy punting a football was the ultimate thing of beauty. That all changed the other day when I saw a photo of actress Eva Longoria decked out in a long, red dress at the Noble Gift gala in London. My goodness--some things in life are just SO unfair, folks..........Answer to trivia question: BERNIE PARMALEE--whose 878 yard total in '95 was a personal season-high during a nine-year career spent with the Dolphins and Jets..........Happy birthday wishes go out to former NFL running back Charles Way--who blows out 39 candles on December 27th. Way was drafted by the New York Giants in the sixth round of the 1995 NFL draft and played for the team for five seasons before a knee injury curtailed his career in 2000. In 75 career games, he gained 1,356 yards rushing and also accumulated 898 yards receiving. His best year was in 1997 when he took over for an injured Rodney Hampton; he carried the ball 151 times that season for 698 yards--an average of 4.6 yards per carry. Currently, Way is employed by the Giants as their director of player development. Best wishes for many more birthdays to come, Charles..........Condolences go out to the family of former Harvard football coach Joe Restic--who passed away recently in Boston at the age of 85. Restic coached the Crimson from 1971-1993--the longest-serving head football coach in Harvard history. While at Harvard, Restic compiled a coaching record of 117-97-6 and won or tied for five Ivy League championships during his 23 years there. He was also an assistant coach at Brown and Colgate and spent nine seasons coaching the Hamilton Tiger-Cats in the CFL before coming to Cambridge. A Villanova graduate, Restic played briefly with the Philadelphia Eagles in the early '50's and also played baseball in the Phillies organization. Joe Restic is survived by two sons, two daughters, a sister and eight grandchildren. Rest in peace, "Coach."..........Finally, as this is the last published column of 2011, I'd like to thank my readers for their continued loyalty and for being such a terrific audience year after year. Merry Christmas, everyone, and my hope is that everyone out there has a healthy, prosperous 2012.

"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - - 12/17/11

Yes, the celebratory, childish garbage that goes on after each TD in the NFL has now reached a pitiful point; basically, NONE of these dolts appear as if they've ever SEEN an end zone before. Perhaps my good friend/colleague Phil Mushnick of the New York Post put it best when he wrote the following in his popular column recently: "This game, at its highest level, is in such disgusting, desensitized repair that if it were a building, it would be condemned and knocked down to make room for something far more worthwhile--like a PRISON." Amen, Mr. Mushnick--and extremely well-put...........TRIVIA QUESTION: The 1991 Cleveland Browns--who finished 6-10 under coach Bil Belichick--had three players who accumulated more than 500 yards receiving apiece. Can you name any of these gentlemen? Answer to follow..........Just thinkin': If LPGA golfer Candie Kung ever married Illinois attorney Stephen Corn, lovers of Halloween candy would surely enjoy her married name of Candie Corn..........Last weekend, I was invited to dinner at the home of my "Monday Night Sports Talk" co-host Tony DeAngelo. Shortly before arriving, Tony texted me as to what was on the menu that evening: "We're eating flounder--in honor of the 2011 Boston Red Sox."..........Lazzari's "Lopsided Score of the Week": In a Connecticut high school girls basketball game last week, Watertown dismantled Derby 52-9; the losing Derby squad did NOT score a point in the second or third quarters of this fiasco. If I'm the Derby coach, I'm not sure what I tell my team at the half--as the score was 38-4. Maybe this: "I'd like to STOP this, girls, but it isn't a BOXING match."...........This week in sports history, December 19, 1984: Wayne Gretzky of the Edmonton Oilers becomes the youngest player in NHL history to amass 1,000 points--assisting on a first period goal during his team's victory over the Kings. The 23-year-old Gretzky reached the 1,000-point mark in just his 424th career game--less than six seasons--and shattered the former mark held by Guy Lafleur. In fact, Gretzky reached this milestone playing 300 games/four seasons LESS than Lafleur. During this memorable evening--a 7-3 Edmonton win--Gretzky would add two goals and three more assists in raising his career total to a mind-boggling 1,005 points..........The Connecticut Sports Writers' Alliance will once again host the Bo Kolinsky Scholarship Golf Tournament on June 28, 2012 at Lyman Orchards Golf Club in Middlefield. The tournament is named for the former high school sports editor of the Hartford Courant who died in 2003 at the age of 49. An entry fee of $170 includes a box lunch on the course, buffet dinner, prizes, and silent/live auctions. The Bo Kolinsky Scholarship is given to a CT high school senior planning to attend college in pursuit of a career in sports journalism. More information about this great event can be obtained by contacting Alliance president George Albano at (203) 434-2320 or by visiting www.ctsportswriters.org ..........I used to think that watching former NBA guard Steve Kerr shooting a 3-pointer was the ultimate thing of beauty. That all changed the other day when I saw a picture of lovely actress Charlize Theron decked out in a snug, black and white dress/high heels outside the Ed Sullivan theater in NYC. My goodness..........Answer to trivia question: WEBSTER SLAUGHTER (906), LEROY HOARD (567), and REGGIE LANGHORNE (505)..........Finally, congratulations go out to all the Connecticut high school football championship teams who were crowned at Rentschler Field last weekend. In particular, I want to single out Ansonia High--who trounced Ledyard in the final 38-0 to win the Class M title. It was a magical season for the Chargers--who finished 14-0 while record-breaking, sophomore running back Arkeel Newsome was nothing short of PHENOMENAL. I had AHS coach Tom Brockett on my TV show just a few days before the championship game--a true gentleman and one helluva football coach. I relayed to Brockett that my Dad, who passed away last June, was a HUGE fan of the team; he was a longtime Ansonia Gridiron Club member/booster. He was always so impressed how Brockett took over this legendary program back in '06 and was able maintain the winning tradition--amid the always-present pressure TO win at AHS. Yeah, Dad always loved his Chargers. I simply told Tom on the night of our taping that his team would be playing with a "12th man" last weekend vs. Ledyard; yes, I know Bob Sr. is still smiling somewhere up above after his alma mater won its record 17th state title. Thanks, AHS and Coach Brockett, for your outstanding efforts--and I know Bob Lazzari Sr. (AHS Class of 1945) thanks you, too.

"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - - 12/10/11

Yes, the saga continues--yet another compilation of some the "athletic matches" that have appeared in this column over the past few years......

Can you imagine if author Dara England married former NFL lineman Doug France, divorced, married ex-Eastern CT. State Univ. basketball guard Ed Spain--divorced again--then married former MLB pitcher Mark Portugal? Fans of European geography would surely delight in her full married name of Dara England France Spain Portugal..........Picture the scenario: singer Courtney Love marries contemporary artist Jim Shack. Fans of a popular tune by the B-52's would surely take note of her full married name: Courtney Love Shack..........Can you imagine if actress Eve Marie Saint had once married former Mets outfielder Johnny Lewis, divorced, then walked down the aisle with a MUCH younger man--New Mexico State infielder Joel Cardinal? She would have been sporting the full married name of Eve Marie Saint Lewis Cardinal..........O.K.--just imagine if total wellness coach Melissa Redd married former MLB shortstop Frank White, divorced, then married ex-big league pitcher Vida Blue. Patriotic people would then delight in her full married name of Melissa Redd White Blue..........Just thinking: If Appalachian St. track coach April Smith married former big league catcher Milt May, divorced, then married East Carolina martial arts instructor Charles June, she'd then be known as April May June..........Here goes: Former St. John's basketball player Kia Wright marries ex-NBA-er Phil Ford, divorces, marries University of the Pacific outfielder Kyle Dodge--divorces again--then marries Metro St. tennis player Mattia Ferrari. Auto lovers everywhere would delight in her full married name of Kia Ford Dodge Ferrari..........I'd love to see LPGA golfer Angela Stanford hook up with New Mexico State infielder Joel Cardinal. If they ever tied the knot, fans of a Palo Alto, CA school would surely delight in her full married name of Angela Stanford Cardinal..........New Jersey lawyer Karen Venice marries former NFL defensive back Bo Orlando, divorces, marries martial arts expert Ken Melbourne--divorces again--then walks down the aisle with PGA golfer Keith Clearwater. Fans of "The Sunshine State" would surely delight in her full married name of Karen Venice Orlando Melbourne Clearwater..........If golfer Jennifer Song someday marries professional poker player Steve Sung, divorces, then marries former Iowa defensive end/Arena Football League player Larry Blue, Neil Diamond fans would surely celebrate her full married name of Jennifer Song Sung Blue..........Longwood University Assistant Dean Kathy Charleston marries Cleveland Indians outfielder Shin-Soo Choo. Lovers of flavored nougat covered in chocolate would also savor her new married name of Kathy Charleston Choo.........Former Niagara basketball player Jessica James marries ex-NFL coach Chuck Knox, divorces, then marries Connecticut Tigers (NY-Penn League) outfielder P.J. Polk. Fans of U.S. presidential history would surely take joy in her full married name of Jessica James Knox Polk..........If New Orleans-based artist Jennifer Beach married former NFL defensive lineman Jerry Ball, would she then mind being referred to by her full, "summer-y" name of Jennifer Beach Ball?..........Former Citadel volleyball player Ashley Winter marries music superstar Stevie Wonder, divorces, then marries author Jon Land. Her full married name as the cold weather approaches? Ashley Winter Wonder Land..........I'd like to see former University of Florida golfer Eleanor Tucker hook up with English soccer player Andrew Rigby. If they ever walked down the aisle, fans of the Beatles' Revolver album would surely delight in the bride's new married name of Eleanor Rigby..........I'd love to see ex-professional tennis players Ann White and Andrew Castle hook up. If they ever tied the knot, fans of small, square hamburgers would truly delight in her full married name of Ann White Castle..........University of Maryland faculty researcher Heather Fogg marries former major leaguer Sam Horn, divorces, marries former Brown hockey standout Chris Legg--divorces again--then marries former NFL wide receiver Joe Horn. Fans of the old "Looney Tunes" cartoons would surely delight in her full married name of Heather Fogg Horn Legg Horn..........Finally, I'd love to see Debra Grand--a VP at the Bank of America--hook up with PGA golfer Fred Funk. If they ever tied the knot, fans of a great American band would surely enjoy her full married name of Debra Grand Funk.