"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - - 10/29/11

Just wondering: Do you think Red Sox fans would have been a little less upset if it was uncovered that the team's starting pitchers had been eating Chicken Cordon Bleu in the clubhouse this past season instead of plain old FRIED chicken?..........TRIVIA QUESTION: The 1992 Cincinnati Bengals were led in rushing by a RB who enjoyed his only 1,000+ yard season that year. Can you name this former player? Answer to follow..........If NY Jets coach Rex Ryan doesn't do or say anything that is totally outrageous before Thanksgiving, then yours truly is dating Charlize Theron by the end of 2011..........Just imagine if retired LPGA player Cathy Mockett married Florida dog trainer John Lockett, divorced, married ex-NFL RB Zack Crockett--divorced again--then married Ansonia High (CT) football coach Tom Brockett. She'd be roaming fairways with the full, catchy name of Cathy Mockett Lockett Crockett Brockett..........Is it me--or has actress Courteney Cox aged WAY better than a pitcher like Jamie Moyer or Tim Wakefield could EVER imagine?..........Did you know that, in 2003, running back Clinton Portis of the Denver Broncos rushed for an impressive total of nearly 1,600 yards--but still only finished FIFTH in the NFL in total rushing yardage? Deuce McAllister, LaDainian Tomlinson, Ahman Green, and Jamal Lewis all finished ahead of Portis--with Lewis leading the league with a robust total of 2,066..........ITEM: University of Alabama running back Brent Calloway is arrested in Tuscaloosa for possessing marijuana; the vehicle in which he was riding was stopped on Paul Bryant Drive. I can only relay to my readers that Calloway is very lucky that he wasn't born years ago and was PLAYING for the "Bear." I'm now imagining how much "self -medicating" Calloway would have done had he been forced to endure the next PRACTICE that Mr. Bryant would have put him through..........ITEM: Former heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis is being awarded an honorary degree by Wilfrid Laurier University in Canada. Yes--this is the same Lennox Lewis who defended Londoner David Haye's disgraceful actions this past summer; Haye had become involved in some awful trash-talking before his fight with champion Wladimir Klitschko and even wore T-shirts depicting him holding the severed heads of both Klitschko and his brother Vitali. Yes--just further evidence of what kind of INSANE world we live in, folks..........Answer to trivia question: HAROLD GREEN--who rushed for 1,170 yards in 1992; he rushed for 4,365 total yards in a career that spanned from 1990-'98 as a member of the Bengals, Rams, and Falcons..........Funny how memories of our youth often pop up and produce a welcomed chuckle. I remember how my friend, Bob, used to tell me years ago why he was CONVINCED his mailman was reading his copy of the Sporting News before it was delivered to him each week. "How could you tell?," I'd ask him. "Well," he'd say, "I knew that he liked to order pizza from the local parlor while on his route--and when my copy was finally delivered late in the day, it was wrinkled and had SAUCE stains all over it."..........Happy birthday wishes go out to former NFL running back/current coach Sherman Smith--who blows out 57 candles on November 1st. A product of Miami (OH), Smith played eight years in the league between 1976 and 1983--mostly as a member of the Seahawks. His best year came in 1978 when he gained 805 yards rushing and averaged 4.9 yards per carry. He later became the offensive coordinator for the Washington Redskins under Jim Zorn and is currently the running backs coach for the Seahawks; best wishes, Sherman..........Finally, condolences go out to the family of former Nebraska football player Lyle Kops--who passed away recently at the age of 84; he had suffered from Parkinson's disease along with some other debilitating ailments. Amazingly, Kops enrolled at Nebraska when he was just 16 and is considered to be one of the youngest college football players ever. He played tackle for the Cornhuskers in 1943 and 1944 (teams that were depleted roster-wise due to the war) before joining the Merchant Marines. Sadly, Kops was never able to return to Nebraska to finish his playing career after his mother became involved in a terrible car accident. Rather, he returned home to help out on the family ranch and continued to do so for over 50 years. Kops is survived by his wife, Jean, five daughters, and a dozen grandchildren. May Lyle Kops rest in peace.

"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - - 10/22/11

Did you know that, in 1990, quarterback Steve DeBerg of the Kansas City Chiefs rushed 21 times for a grand total of MINUS-5 yards? That comes out to about -0.2 yards per carry--which was even difficult to figure out using my calculator..........TRIVIA QUESTION: What player has the most yardage receiving all-time as a member of the New Orleans Saints? Answer to follow..........I used to think that watching Joe Namath throw a football was the ultimate thing of beauty. That all changed last week when I saw a picture of lovely actress Charlize Theron decked out in a black Dior dress at her Africa Outreach Project shindig out in Los Angeles. My goodness..........Tony DeAngelo (my co-host on "Monday Night Sports Talk") and I recently celebrated the 29th anniversary of Jim "Catfish" Hunter's Game 2 victory in the 1972 World Series (vs. Cincy) by having a DINNER of catfish and rice. Does that qualify us as baseball fanatics--or render us as just plain NUTS?..........This week in sports history, October 25, 1990: The short heavyweight reign of James "Buster" Douglas comes to an end in Las Vegas as he is knocked out in the third round by challenger Evander Holyfield. Douglas had shocked the world eight months earlier with a stunning, tenth-round KO of then-champion "Iron" Mike Tyson. However, Holyfield's powerful right to the jaw of Douglas enabled him to become the new heavyweight champion while winning his 25th consecutive fight..........Can you imagine if former U.S. gymnast Shannon Miller married NASCAR driver Kyle Busch, divorced, married Washington Nats special assistant Bob Schaefer--divorced again--then married American ice dancer John Corona? Beer lovers everywhere would surely raise a glass to her full married name of Shannon Miller Busch Schaefer Corona..........Lazzari's "Lopsided Score of the Week": In a college football game played in the Midwest last weekend, Central College (Iowa) defeated Loras 70-7; the winning squad held a 42-7 lead AT THE HALF and out-rushed Loras in this game 279-48. I haven't seen a mismatch like that since Angelina Jolie hooked up with Billy Bob Thornton..........Answer to trivia question: ERIC MARTIN--who caught balls for 7,854 yards while playing for the Saints between 1985 and 1993..........Almost EERILY quiet this past baseball season (even in a city like New York) was the fact that Yankees reliever David Robertson's ERA of 1.08 was the lowest in team history for any NY hurler who threw at least 50 innings. Wow..........ITEM: Cassius Chambers--a high school football coach in Chicago--is arrested after a dozen of his players attacked a disabled teen; Chambers and an assistant coach reportedly watched the beating but did nothing to stop it. I now wish that Chambers had been born in a different era and became a heavyweight boxer in the 60's--and was scheduled to step into the ring with ANOTHER guy named Cassius after exhibiting such disgraceful behavior..........Happy birthday wishes go out to former NFL running back Jimmy DuBose--who blows out 57 candles on October 25th. A native of Alabama who attended the University of Florida, DuBose was the SEC Player of the Year in 1975 and rushed for over 2,000 yards while in Gainesville. He was chosen by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the second round of the 1976 draft and became the first Bucs player ever to gain 100 yards in a game (1978). Unfortunately, DuBose tore knee ligaments shortly thereafter and was limited to playing just three seasons in the pros (all with Tampa Bay)--gaining a total of 704 yards. DuBose was elected to the University of Florida Athletic Hall of Fame in 1987. Here's wishing you many more birthday celebrations to come, Jimmy..........Finally, condolences go out to the family of former NFL tackle Orlando Brown--who was found dead a few weeks ago in his South Baltimore apartment; he was 40. It was later uncovered that Brown died of diabetic ketoacidosis--caused by high blood sugar and a lack of insulin. A huge man standing 6'7'' tall and weighing 360 pounds, Brown played parts of nine seasons between 1994 and 2005--starting 119 games. He may be best-known for suffering a devastating eye-injury during a 1999 game (while playing for Cleveland) when he was struck by a referee's penalty flag; he later sued the NFL and eventually reached a settlement. Brown is survived by a daughter and three sons; may he rest in peace.

"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - - 10/15/11

Frost is on the pumpkin--which can only mean one thing: It's time to hand out some awards based on MLB's 2011 regular season.

*The STAY AT FIRST Award: Goes to Martin Prado of the Atlanta Braves. Attempting to steal on 12 occasions this season, Prado was thrown out EIGHT times--a SB success rate of just 33%. Rumor has it that the Atlanta first base coach will have a lasso in his back pocket next year should Prado decide to run--but that couldn't be confirmed as of press time.
*The PETE ROSE/GEORGE BRETT HONORARY THROWBACK PLAYER Award: Dustin Pedroia of the Red Sox. The man played the entire year with a SCREW in his left foot and stole 26 bases while garnering 195 hits. In addition, does this guy EVER go home with a clean uniform? Pedroia should be the #1 spokesperson for OxiClean, Shout, or Spray 'n' Wash--or ALL THREE.
*The TONY BENNETT/BEST YEARS BEHIND HIM Award: Matt Stairs of the Washington Nationals. At age 43, Stairs went 10-for-65 this year and drove in TWO runs. Yes, Matt, after 19 seasons, it's TIME; PLEASE don't try for a 20th. Jason Giambi of the Rockies finished high in this category--appearing in 64 games and hitting just .260 in the thin air of Coors Field.
*The LITTLE BUCKS/BIG NUMBERS Award: A "no-brainer"--Ian Kennedy of the D'Backs. Kennedy went 21-4 and pitched to an ERA of 2.88. His 2011 salary? $423,000. Yes--that's almost a better bargain than any Christmas Tree Shops store can offer. NY's David Robertson (1.08 ERA, 460 grand) finished high in this category--as well as Alex Avila of the Tigers.
*The BONNIE AND CLYDE/HIGHWAY ROBBERY Award (for stealing large sums of money): No doubt--goes to Alex Rodriguez of the Yankees. Injuries aside, A-ROID appeared in just 99 games and hit 16 home runs. His salary? $32,000,000--or $2 million for each four-bagger he hit. Let's put that into perspective: If you COMBINED the ridiculous contracts of under-achieving Crawford and Lackey of Boston, that duo STILL earned less than Rodriguez in 2011. Jayson Worth of the Nats received many votes here--compiling a .232 average after signing a $126 million deal last December.
*The BLACKSTONE/HOUDINI DISAPPEARING ACT Award: Goes to Alex Rios of the Chicago White Sox. One of the more highly-prized players just a few years back, he's done VERY little since earning REAL money. In fact, his pitiful total of 44 RBI's this season was HALF of his 2010 total. Oh, yeah--he hit .227 in 2011. OUCH. And you wonder WHY Ozzie's in Florida?
*The PITIFULLY PUNCHLESS Award (for lack of offense): For the second year in a row, this goes to the Seattle Mariners--who hit an anemic .233 as a team in 2011. Of the 30 MLB teams, Seattle finished last in BA, runs, hits, total bases, slugging %, on-base %--yeah, you get the picture.
*The ARSONIST OF THE YEAR Award: We'll give this to reliever Jason Berken of the Orioles. In 47 innings out of the 'pen, he gave up 63 hits (including 10 HR's) and pitched to an ERA of 5.36. "Wild Bill" Hagy just groaned from his grave.
*The BUM OF THE YEAR Award: A "no-brainer"--Carlos Zambrano of the Cubs. After giving up a bunch of HR's to the Braves during an August game, the guy then throws at Chipper Jones (a future Hall of Famer) and proceeds to clean out his locker; he said he was "retiring" at age 30--then changed his mind. Many words come to mind: quitter, coward, punk, idiot; let's just call him an outright BUM for such ridiculous antics.
*The third annual EARL WEAVER/FULL PACK Award (causing managers to smoke too much and/or develop ulcers): Matt Maloney of the Cincinnati Reds. He pitched only 18 2/3 innings this year, but drove manager Dusty Baker CRAZY. He allowed 36 hits and 19 earned runs (ERA of 9.16); opponents hit .409 against him. If Dusty hasn't swallowed a toothpick yet while watching THIS guy pitch, it's a safe bet that he NEVER will.
*The HIT OR MISS Award: Mark Reynolds of the Orioles wins this for the FOURTH year in a row; yes, next year, it will formerly become known as the "Mark Reynolds/Hit Or Miss Award." The man hit 37 homers but also struck out 196 times--hitting .221. Almost 1/3 of his hits were homers.
*The MAYTAG/DEPENDABILITY Award: As I've stated in the past, Seattle's Ichiro Suzuki receives this award YEARLY as long as he's breathing. No--he didn't win a batting title this year and surely isn't the "old" Ichiro. But he DID play in 161 games--garnering 184 hits and stealing 40 bases at the age of 37. Yes, a down year for this legend--but he remains the ARCHITECT of this award. The man shows up DAILY, folks.
*The AVERSION TO WALKING Award: Vernon Wells of the L.A. Angels. In 505 at-bats, Wells walked just 20 times--about once-per-every 26 at-bats. I swear--this guy walks only when solar eclipses are about to take place.
*The GERITOL/AGE DOESN'T MATTER Award: Mariano Rivera of the Yanks wins for the THIRD year in a row. At the age of 41, he saved 44 games and pitched to an ERA of 1.91. In addition, he walked eight batters all season long and allowed just three home runs. "Cabernet Sauvignon" would be a better nickname for this guy due to his ability to age so well; I just think they call him "Mo" because it's easier to pronounce.
*The RODNEY DANGERFIELD/LACK OF RESPECT Award: This year, it goes to Blue Jays pitcher Ricky Romero. I'm not sure if it was due to his club's disappointing year or the fact that he was overshadowed by teammate Jose Bautista--but did anyone notice his #'s in 2011? Quietly, Romero won 15 games and gave up just 176 hits in 225 innings; his ERA--pitching for an AL East team--was a sparkling 2.92. If you ask the average fan about the top pitchers in the league, his name is probably NOT in the conversation--but perhaps it SHOULD be at this juncture.
*Finally, the DOLLY THE SHEEP/REASON TO CLONE Award: Roy Halladay of the Phillies. For the sixth year in a row, he pitched more than 220 innings. And fathom THIS: In each season from 2008-2011, his ERA has been under 2.80, he's walked less than 40 batters, and he's struck out more than 200 hitters. It's almost BORING watching Halladay take the mound at this juncture--he's THAT consistent.

Enjoy the rest of the postseason, everyone.

"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - - 10/8/11

Yes--LOTS of blame to go around regarding the Red Sox' 2011 collapse. But let's zone in on two particular individuals at this juncture: Carl Crawford (.255, 18 stolen bases) and John Lackey (12-12, 6.41 ERA)--who combined to earn over $30 million this past season. This duo certainly under-achieved in GARGANTUAN fashion. But, for discussion sake, let's just pretend that this pair hadn't under-achieved AS MUCH; Crawford hits, say, .270 and steals a modest 35 bases while Lackey pitches to an ERA of "only" 5.00. Result? Boston easily makes the playoffs. Now THAT is disturbing--and something that Sox fans will have a tough time swallowing for a VERY long time..........TRIVIA QUESTION: The 1988 Philadelphia Eagles--who finished first in the NFC East under coach Buddy Ryan--had three players who rushed for more than 500 yards apiece. Can you name this trio? Answer to follow..........Speaking of the aforementioned Lackey, WXLM-AM (CT) morning show host Lee Elci--whose show I'm honored to appear on each week--recently described the hurler's quality of pitches in 2011: "He was throwing nothing but SLOP up to the plate for the entire season."..........This week in sports history, October 11, 1991: At the Las Vegas Invitational, pro golfer Chip Beck shoots a sizzling 59 during third round play--tying Al Geiberger as the only golfers ever to shoot under 60 in a PGA event. Beck--playing at the Sunrise Golf Club--recorded 13 birdies and five pars on his way to sharing the tournament lead with Bruce Leitzke. Geiberger had shot a 59 at the Memphis Classic back in 1977--which included an eagle, 11 birdies, and six pars..........Lazzari's "Lopsided Score of the Week": In a college football game played down south last weekend, Washington & Lee annihilated Guilford 63-0. My first reaction was that famed GENERALS Washington and Lee (yes, how the school got its name) were never involved in military battles that were THIS one-sided..........Can you imagine if University of Michigan law professor Debra Chopp married former NFL fullback Matt Suhey? Lovers of Chinese cuisine would surely delight in her full married name of Debra Chopp Suhey..........Answer to trivia question: RANDALL CUNNINGHAM (624), KEITH BYARS (517), and ANTHONY TONEY (502)..........Cowardice personified: Thumbs down to Mets SS Jose Reyes for going 1-for-1 in the early stages of his final game this year--then sitting down solely to protect his league-leading batting average. In fact, the Mets organization should now be selling #7 jerseys with a yellow streak going down the back. My friend/colleague Phil Mushnick of the New York Post said it best last weekend--writing the following in his Sunday column: "He would have been more admired--and nobly recalled--had he finished in second place while PLAYING than finishing first while SITTING"..........I came across a photo the other day of actresses-turned-directors Jennifer Aniston and Demi Moore at the premiere of their Lifetime movie anthology "Five." Let's just say that these two lovely ladies aged a HECKUVA lot better in 2011 than major leaguers like Jason Giambi and Matt Stairs..........Happy birthday wishes go out to former NFL linebacker Chris Spielman--who blows out 46 candles on October 11th. A two-time All-American at Ohio State, Spielman went on to play ten seasons as a member of the Detroit Lions and Buffalo Bills between 1988 and 1997. While in Detroit, he went to four Pro-Bowls and was First Team/All-Pro in 1991. In his post-playing days, Spielman has done a variety of broadcasting work; he also coached the Columbus Destroyers--an Arena Football League team--back in 2005. Best wishes, Chris..........Finally, condolences go out to the family of former NFL offensive coordinator Mike Heimerdinger--who passed away last week in Mexico after a nearly year-long battle with cancer; he was 58. Heimerdinger coached for the Broncos, Titans, and Jets; he helped Denver win back-to-back Super Bowl titles in 1997 and 1998. He was also part of three playoff teams while in Tennessee and was very instrumental in helping the late QB Steve McNair win NFL co-MVP honors (with Peyton Manning) back in 2003. Mike was first diagnosed in November of 2010 and had been undergoing experimental treatments for a rare form of the disease while in Mexico. He is survived by his wife, Kathie, a son, and a daughter; may Mike Heimerdinger rest in peace.