"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - - 7/2/11

As the summer of 2011 officially kicks off (and writer's block takes hold), why not re-visit even MORE of the "athletic matches" that have appeared in this column over the years?

Question: If former RIT volleyball player Tracy Wilt were to wed N.Y. Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain, would she automatically grow taller while possessing the full, married name of Tracy Wilt Chamberlain?..........I'd like to see a romance bloom between former Georgia equestrian team member Allie Hush and ex-Yale DB Adam Money. If they ever tied the knot, she'd be sure to keep quiet at certain times while walking around with the full, married name of Allie Hush Money..........Can you imagine if professional kickboxer Elaina Maxwell married former major league pitcher Tom House, divorced, then married ex-Alabama running back Glen Coffee? Java lovers everywhere would surely delight in her full married name of Elaina Maxwell House Coffee..........Can you imagine if former Savannah College golfer Ashley Warsaw married ex-NFL lineman Bubba Paris, divorced, married sports talk show host Jim Rome--divorced again--then married former NFL receiver Eddie Berlin? Fans of European geography would surely get a kick out of her full married name of Ashley Warsaw Paris Rome Berlin..........I'd love to see former LPGA player Donna White hook up with former major league catcher Steve Christmas. If they ever walked down the aisle, Irving Berlin/Bing Crosby fans everywhere would surely delight in her full married name of Donna White Christmas. And if former LPGA player Mary Bryan married ex-NFL RB Floyd Little, divorced, then married the aforementioned Christmas, carolers could then call her Mary Little Christmas.........Just wondering: If former top-ranked tennis player Lindsay Davenport ever married ex-Catholic University wide receiver Matt Lohan, would she even WANT to be known by her married name of Lindsay Lohan?..........Can you imagine if former pro boxer Erica Sugar married ex-big league pitcher Jim Ray--divorced--then married PGA golfer Justin Leonard? Fans of the "sweet science" would surely delight in her full, married name of Erica Sugar Ray Leonard..........Just imagine if William Paterson University basketball player April Smith married former NBA player Scott May, divorced, then married Methodist University football player Thomas June. Lovers of springtime would surely delight in her full married name of April May June..........Can you imagine if former Jensen Beach High (FL) softball star Christen Moon ever hooked up with former major league pitcher Bob Walk? If they ever tied the knot, fans of Michael Jackson would surely enjoy her full married name of Christen Moon Walk..........Question: If sportscaster Hannah Storm ever married Hall of Fame QB Joe Montana, would she REALLY want to be known by her new married name of Hannah Montana?..........Just imagine if LPGA player Michelle Wie married New Britain Rock Cats VP/GM John Willi--divorced--then married former Clemson tennis player Ian Keeler. Fans of old-time baseball would surely be smiling as she'd be strolling the golf course with the full married name of Michelle Wie Willi Keeler..........Just thinking: If LPGA golfer Meena Lee married former big league pitcher Bryan Harvey--divorced--then married former BYU lineman David Oswald, would she REALLY want to be known by her full married name of Meena Lee Harvey Oswald?..........If former Texas Tech golfer Tracy Stanford married ex-UCONN RB Donald Brown, divorced, married PGA golfer Ken Duke--divorced again--then married ex-Trail Blazers VP Tom Penn, various college fans would truly delight in her full married name of Tracy Stanford Brown Duke Penn..........Submitted by column reader Abe Knaster of New York: If famed socialite Ivana Trump married pop singer Neil Diamond, divorced, then married legendary golfer Jack Nicklaus, she'd be attending cocktail parties worldwide reeking of "high maintenance" with the name of Ivana Diamond Nicklaus..........Can you imagine if former MIT basketball player Kimberly Soo Hoo married former British boxer Jim Watt--divorced--then married PGA golfer Mike Weir? Inquisitive minds would surely delight in her full married name of Kimberly Soo Hoo Watt Weir..........Finally, with a slight assist from my colleague Norm Bender: Former Olympian Carol Lewis (sister of Carl) marries former Steelers WR Louis Lipps, divorces, marries PGA golfer Stewart Cink--divorces again--then marries Florida builder/developer Peter Shipps. Her full married name winds up being Carol Lewis Lipps Cink Shipps.

"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - - 6/25/11

Here's some info/#'s that will raise an eyebrow: Randy Jones won the NL Cy Young Award in 1976--winning 22 games and pitching a mind-boggling 315 innings. His entire strikeout total that season? Just 93--which came out to only 2.7 K's per every nine innings pitched. Simply amazing; it's all about making the baseball MISS the bat, folks.........TRIVIA QUESTION: The 1991 Detroit Tigers were led in victories by a pitcher who had the only 20-win season of his career that year. Can you name this former right-handed hurler? Answer to follow..........ITEM: University of New Mexico football player Deshon Marman is arrested at an airport in San Francisco after wearing saggy pants onto a plane; he was busted on trespassing, battery, and obstruction charges. Question: If this guy was playing for a school like Hawaii--in a state where the expression/lifestyle slogan "Hang Loose" is so popular--could he then have at least a semi-legitimate reason for the low-riding trousers?..........During last Saturday's game vs. the Cubs, Yankees broadcaster John Sterling called A.J. Burnett's pitching performance that day "GREAT" (not "good"--but "GREAT"); the guy basically struggled through 5.1 innings--giving up a couple of runs while walking three--and threw 104 pitches before being removed. If guys like Sterling and others involved in the game are going to continue "lowering the bar" in regard to player performances, then why not change the name of the game to "limbo" instead of BASEBALL?.........This week in sports history, June 28, 1976: Before a crowd of close to 48,000 at Tiger Stadium, Detroit Tigers rookie pitcher Mark "The Bird" Fidrych allows seven hits while beating the New York Yankees 5-1. The victory raised the young phenom's record to 8-1; "The Bird" made two curtain calls for rabid fans following the game. The colorful Fidrych--who talked to the ball and groomed the mound between innings--was backed by home runs from teammates Rusty Staub and Aurelio Rodriguez while the lone Yankee run came on a solo homer by Elrod Hendricks..........Did you know that former MLB catcher Steve Swisher was named to the NL All-Star squad in 1976--a year in which he would ultimately finish with a .236 batting average with just five homers? When you look back on it, those HAVE to be some of the worst final yearly #'s ever for any player who appeared on an All-Star roster earlier in a season............Answer to trivia question: BILL GULLICKSON--who went 20-9 for the Sparky Anderson-managed Detroit club that finished 2nd in the AL East that year..........Maybe it's all the rain we've had this spring: I had a dream the other night that I was sitting at Yankee Stadium with the lovely Jennifer Aniston during a LONG rain delay--staring into her lovely eyes. I recall her asking me at one point, "Hey Bob--do you think this game will ever resume?" My response: "WHAT game?"..........Happy birthday wishes go out to former major league first baseman Ron Witmeyer--who blows out 44 candles on June 28th. Can't remember this West Islip, NY native who attended Stanford? Me either. Perhaps it was due to the fact that Witmeyer played in just 11 games during his career--all in 1991 with the Oakland A's. In 19 at-bats that season, Witmeyer garnered just ONE hit (a single)--thus going into the MLB record books with a lifetime batting average of just .053. However, he CAN tell his grandchildren that he handled 35 chances in the field during his short MLB tenure WITHOUT making an error. Best wishes for many more celebrations to follow, Ron..........Finally, condolences go out to the family of former Duke basketball player Tom Emma--who died recently in New York City in an apparent suicide near Central Park. Emma was the captain of the 1982-'83 Duke team that featured talented players such as Mark Alarie, Jay Bilas, and Johnny Dawkins. Overall, Emma averaged 7.1 ppg for the Blue Devils while appearing in 110 career games; he was taken in the 10th round of the 1983 NBA draft by the Chicago Bulls but never played in the NBA. He later became president of Power Performance, Inc.--a company devoted to training young athletes--and also wrote a book entitled Basketball Player's Comprehensive Guide to Strength Training. May Tom Emma rest in peace.

"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - - 6/18/11

I used to think that the most outrageous "weiner" I've ever come across was the ridiculous $7/$8 hot dog that I purchased at Yankee Stadium last summer. That all changed recently when I became aware of the disgraceful behavior exhibited by the embattled lawmaker of New York..........TRIVIA QUESTION: The 1992 Baltimore Orioles--who finished 89-73 under manager Johnny Oates--were led in RBI's by a player who drove in less than 500 runs during his 12-year career. Can you name this former outfielder? Answer to follow..........Did you know that the lowly 1985 Cleveland Indians had NO pitcher on the squad with more than NINE wins that season? Starters Neal Heaton and Bert Blyleven won nine apiece while Tom Waddell--used mostly in relief--won eight. The team finished with a record of 60-102 under manager Pat Corrales--dead last in the American League East..........Red Sox announcer Joe Castiglione--commenting last weekend after Toronto's Jason Frasor was removed from the game after allowing three earned runs in 0.2 innings of work (a phrase many sports fans have heard before): "Down goes Frasor"..........ITEM: Oklahoma City Thunder guard Nate Robinson is cited for urinating in public in White Plains, NY; police spotted him relieving himself on a sidewalk near a bookstore around 2 AM. Question: If I'm a resident of that NYC suburb, do I want my future tax dollars to go to providing more Porta-Potties in town or do I want the public works department to clean the sidewalks more often?..........Question to Red Sox fans: Yes, dealing with/waiting out rain delays this year hasn't been fun. But if you're watching on NESN, doesn't a LOT of the frustration totally disappear when the lovely Heidi Watney gets more air time?..........My Monday Night Sports Talk co-host Tony DeAngelo made a good point recently--saying that when 59-year-old (his given age) pitcher Satchel Paige faced 20-year old Tony Conigliaro back in 1965, it had to be the greatest pitcher/batter age disparity in the history of major league baseball. Can't disagree, Tony; unless staged as a promotional event, this probably won't happen again. But the MOST interesting thing about that memorable day so long ago? Paige could still get batters OUT at the time--pitching three scoreless innings that day.........."Raven" Update: My good friend Robert "Raven" Kraft of Miami Beach, well, he just keeps on going. One of the top "streak runners" in the country, the man has now run his daily, 8-mile route in South Beach for approximately 13,300 CONSECUTIVE days--which translates to a total of over 106,000 miles. To put that in perspective, folks, that's approximately FIVE TIMES the distance around the WORLD. Keep runnin', Raven--you're one amazing individual..........Following last weekend's series vs. Toronto, Red Sox outfielder Mike Cameron was hitting around .160. Well, if a big league batter is considered awful if he can't hit his weight--and Cameron weighs about 210--then Cameron has a long way to go just to be considered a BAD hitter at this juncture..........Answer to trivia question: MIKE DEVEREAUX--who drove in 107 runs that year and finished his career with a total of 480 RBI's..........Happy birthday wishes go out to former major league catcher Doug Gwosdz--who blows out 51 candles on June 20th. Drafted by the Padres in the 2nd round of the 1978 amateur draft, Gwosdz appeared in just 69 games for San Diego between 1981 and 1984. His lifetime batting average? .144--which translates to a staggering total of 56 points BELOW the famed "Mendoza Line" that baseball fans are so familiar with. In 104 lifetime at-bats, Gwosdz could muster just 15 hits; hey, at least he can tell his grandchildren that one of those base knocks was a home run, right? I'm not sure what was more difficult during the man's playing days: Gwosdz getting a hit or fellow players trying to pronounce his NAME. In any case, best wishes for many more birthdays to come, Doug..........Finally, I'd like to thank everyone for the many expressions of condolences following the recent death of my father; the response has been incredibly overwhelming. I only wish that more of my readers could have experienced the opportunity of meeting such a HUGE sports fan--one whose true passion was baseball. Yes, he's now buried along with a ball and glove; to Bob Lazzari Sr., those items would provide more comfort than the world's most cushioned feather pillow or memory foam mattress. There's a lot wrong with baseball now (and sports in general), but each time a game comes on the tube from now on, I'll always think of "Big Bob"--and that's a GOOD thing. Miss you dearly, Dad.

"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - - 6/11/11

Farewell, Dad


Robert A. Lazzari passed away on June 3rd at the age of 83--his body finally giving out after decades-worth of health problems. He instilled in me a HUGE love for sports; he remains solely responsible for yours truly writing this weekly column and currently being involved in so many other media endeavors. But it all started a long time ago.

I think it goes all the way back to those catches we used to have together in the backyard so many years ago—him using his Red Schoendienst glove (that was barely bigger than his hand) and me trying to maneuver with the Vada Pinson model that he had purchased for me at Mark Hardware. He taught me how to catch and throw--maybe the greatest gift a father can give to a son--and boy was I hooked. He bought me my first football and, when he could find the time, would actually throw passes to ALL the neighborhood kids. They were always amazed at how the man could lead them just perfectly--having the ball fall directly into their waiting hands. He bought me my first basketball--an ABA ball--making me the first kid on the block to own the fancy red, white, and blue one that we’d see the pros play with on TV. “Bob Sr.” later coached me at the Babe Ruth League level where I witnessed how much he valued discipline and the 'no-nonsense' approach. He watched me play sports at the high school level and was so proud when I enrolled at Fordham University. The day I graduated college, he said, "I'm proud of you—nice job, kid." That was my Dad. He didn't say much when it came to reaching so-called ‘milestones’; he simply believed that life should be a constant journey of trying to become even BETTER.



He took me to my first baseball game when I was 8-years-old--Yankees/White Sox. I clearly remember as the bus pulled up to this monstrous building as the young, bright-eyed kid inquired, "Hey Dad--I thought they played baseball OUTDOORS!" He just smiled at me, delighting in my naivete, and simply said, "Just wait, Bobby--you’ll see." And he'd always take me to the old "Sports Nights" at St. Jude’s Church in Derby where I was able to actually get autographs from pro athletes; there was no event bigger than that when I was growing up, and it was my Dad who made sure that we always had tickets prior to that awesome gathering.


We both grew older but I chose never to be far from the man geographically (we lived in adjacent apartment rooms). O.K., call me a "Daddy's Boy," but how could I stray from a guy who was not only my father but my BEST FRIEND? I’ll particularly remember the amount of baseball games I watched with my Dad over the years; friends were always welcomed, too. I received a call from my buddy Al down in Florida shortly after my Dad's death. In tears, Al said to me, "Man, I'll never forget coming over your house every night during the summer back in the 70's--and then having your father chastise me the next day for falling asleep by the 7th inning!" Yeah, I remember it well, Al, and maybe someday the three of us will do it all over again.


He enjoyed all sports (loved the Triple Crown races), but it was ALWAYS about baseball to my Dad; he even LOOKED better and SOUNDED better every time April 1st appeared on the calendar yearly. When baseball's regular season began, the man was truly reborn--SO excited at the prospect of having eight full months to soak it all in. Prior to his death, he'd tune in a game on his TV EVERY night in his small room--while at the same time reading the latest NY Times bestseller that he had loaned from the local library. Yeah, my Dad could multi-task that way--even at the age of 83. Geez, I only hope I'm able to do that at 53, Dad.



For the past couple of years during baseball season, my Dad had the same routine nightly: TV turned on at 7PM while always asking me beforehand, "Hey Kid--what's the best game to watch tonight?" I'd give him my opinion--he'd balk a bit--then say, "Well, I can always turn the channel, right?" My Dad truly was like a child when watching baseball; in fact, his routine ALWAYS included having an ice cream cone around the 4th or 5th inning of each game. He knew I always kept an ample supply handy for him in the freezer that we shared, but he'd still play dumb each evening: "Hey, Kid--any of those ice cream cones left?" I’d chuckle, he'd smile, and I'd grab one for him along with a napkin. I'll miss that, Dad.



He knew that I worked extremely hard on my sports writing; he’d sometimes walk over and peek through my door only to witness me banging away on the PC--working on an upcoming column or researching stats. He'd say to me, "Hey, Kid, why don't you walk away from that thing for awhile and watch the game with me." Sometimes I’d do just that--desperately in need of a welcomed break. Looking back, I wish I did it EVERY time, Dad, in order to have spent just a bit more time with you. But I'm sure we'll have many more games to watch together down the road in a better place; the thought of that will fuel me for my remaining days on this earth.

Since his passing, I’ve received kind condolences from various former athletes—including former Red Sox players Rico Petrocelli and Roger LaFrancois. Ex-big leaguers such as Ron Kittle, Ron Swoboda, Carmen Fanzone, and newly-elected Hall of Famer Bert Blyleven also chimed in after hearing the news. Even former Olympic figure skater Tai Babilonia emailed me in order to express her sorrow. No, not one of these people ever knew my Dad personally, but they did know me from past interviews, etc. I can only surmise that they probably recognized my passion for sports and realized that I must have come from "good stock". Yes, folks, it was from stock that was truly worth a fortune.


As fate would have it, the last exchange between my Dad and I came in the emergency room almost two weeks ago. "That 'King Felix' is one helluva pitcher," he said--referring to the Mariners hurler who would be facing the Yanks that evening. Yes, while in excruciating pain, THOSE were the last words of a passionate baseball guy. I know my Dad went out the way he would have wanted--with baseball talk being part of his final conversation.



Thanks, Dad, for being a great father, friend to others, and showing me how important discipline is. I can never repay you now; maybe I'll just share this column with others for the next few months--hoping they realize how lucky I was to have such an amazing presence guiding me all these years. And hopefully, we’ll be watching many more games down the road, my friend—ice cream cones and all.



Rest in peace, "Big Bob". No one knew you, understood you, and respected you more than your best friend and only son. May you rest in peace.

"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - - 6/4/11

*More "athletic matches" that have appeared in this column over the years.....

Can you imagine if LPGA golfer Ji Young Oh married former major league pitcher Joey Jay, divorced, then married Champions Tour golfer Tim Simpson? Perhaps she could someday help a former running back search for the REAL killer of his former spouse and an acquaintance while bearing the full, married name of Ji Young Oh Jay Simpson..........Wouldn't it be great if LPGA golfer Morgan Pressel married former University of Cincinnati soccer player Mike Hessel, divorced, married former Hannibal High (NY) tennis player Reece Bessel--divorced again--then married Ohio St. football coach Jim Tressel? She'd be roaming fairways with the catchy, full married name of Morgan Pressel Hessel Bessel Tressel..........If LPGA golfer Karen Stupples had once married L.A. Angels pitcher Danny Haren, divorced, married Rhode Island basketball coach Jim Baron--divorced again--then married former big league player Dick Sharon, she'd be teeing off with the full, married name of Karen Haren Baron Sharon..........Picture this: LPGA golfer Trish Johnson marries tennis player Mardy Fish, divorces, marries former Western Kentucky basketball player "Rip" Gish--divorces again--then marries NY Giants chairman/exec. VP Steve Tisch. She'd be roaming the links with the full, married name of Trish Fish Gish Tisch..........Can you imagine if LPGA golfer Leanna Wicks married former Texas Rangers owner Tom Hicks, divorced, married former Michigan running back Lawrence Ricks--divorced again--then married former NBA player Steve Mix? She'd be roaming the golf course with the catchy, full married name of Leanna Wicks Hicks Ricks Mix..........If LPGA golfer Meena Lee ever married former NFL lineman John Fina, I'd have WAY too much fun pronouncing her married name of Meena Fina. Also, if golfer Paige Mackenzie ever walked down the aisle with S.D. Chargers head coach Norv Turner, fans of interesting/hard-to-put-down books would surely delight in her full, married name of Paige Turner..........Just imagine if Japanese golfer Yuri Fudoh married the NBA's Eddy Curry, divorced, married baseball Hall of Famer Eddie Murray--divorced again--then married winger Chris Drury of the N.Y. Rangers. She'd be roaming golf courses internationally with the catchy, full married name of Yuri Curry Murray Drury..........Regarding the lovely Natalie Gulbis: If she married fellow pro golfer Aaron Baddeley, divorced, married former Colgate swimmer James Hadley--divorced again--then married ex-Canisius College hoopster Chris Gadley, she'd be sporting the full married name of Natalie Baddeley Hadley Gadley..........Scenario: Ex-UCONN women's basketball player Tina Charles marries NBA guard Jameer Nelson, divorces, then decides she likes older men; she proceeds to marry former NBA coach Pat Riley. Fans of the old "Match Game" show would surely delight in her full married name of Tina Charles Nelson Riley..........I'd like to see former Georgia Tech softball player Daisy Paez hook up with big-league outfielder Elijah Dukes. If they ever walked down the aisle, admirers of form-fitting, denim cut-off shorts throughout the land would surely delight in her married name of Daisy Dukes..........If actress Brooke Shields marries former NFL player John Zook, divorces, marries former pitcher Jay Hook--divorces again--then marries former pitcher Dennis Cook, yours truly would have WAY too much fun pronouncing her full married name of Brooke Zook Hook Cook..........If LPGA golfer Hee Young Park ever married Hall of Fame catcher Johnny Bench, would she mind being known by the name of Hee Young Park Bench?..........Can you imagine if LPGA golfer Young Kim married political commentator Al Franken, divorced, then married former MLB infielder Bill Stein? Fans of old Mel Brooks movies would surely delight in her full married name of Young Franken Stein..........I'd love to see LPGA golfer Ji Young Oh hook up with N.Y. Jets GM Mike Tannenbaum. If they ever tied the knot, Christmas carol lovers everywhere would surely enjoy seeing her strolling around various golf courses with the married name of Ji Young Oh Tannenbaum..........Finally, can you imagine if motivational speaker Cheryl Cran married former NBA player Walter Berry, divorced him, then married baseball Hall of Famer Wade Boggs? Certain juice manufacturers--especially the people at Ocean Spray--would surely be happy as she'd be walking around with the full married name of Cheryl Cran Berry Boggs.